Escaped

Chapter 41

Escaped: Chapter 41

The next couple of weeks flew by.
I thought about my mother often; the guilt of leaving her alone was eating me alive.
I was beyond happy to get my father away from her and out of her life but I had still kind of abandoned her, hadn't I?
I had originally told Louis that I didn't want to go home in order to avoid ever seeing my dad again. Now that he was gone, did I have some kind of obligation to go back?

I sat on the back porch staring out at the water.
Over time I'd discovered it was one of my favorite places to be.
I found it so peaceful. Almost like an escape. I saw that no matter what kinds of crazy things happened, this view always stayed the same.
The lake with the knotted weeping willow tree on the edge and the pines trees on the other side, the distance making them look small.

I wanted to talk to Liam but he seemed so busy lately.
"Business," was all he ever said.
I understood that it was dangerous for me to get involved so I kept my distance.
I just missed him. Even though he was right there.
He told me I never had to feel alone and I'm sure he meant it: but that's not what I was feeling.
I felt completely alone. Mostly because no one understood what I was going through. Eleanor was the closest thing I had, when it came to someone who had been in similar circumstances as me, but she had no family left. Even she didn't quite get it.

I was stuck. My closest friends, my new family, as I liked to call them, and my own mother.
They were the most important people to me but they could never mix. How was I going to make this work?

"Maybe you won't," I finally realized. "Maybe you'll have to choose."

I kept thinking back to this because I knew it was probably true.

Liam, Harry, Louis, Gemma, Zayn, Perrie, Niall, and Eleanor.

Or Tiffany Hale: my best friend for most of my life.

"It shouldn't be like this," I wanted to scream to the heavens. "People shouldn't have to choose between the ones they love."

It wasn't fair!

But then again, life wasn't always fair, was it?