Paul & Graham (Part One)

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(Paul)

"I guess it's time then," I sighed, avoiding all eye contact, "Derek and Kath said twenty minutes for saying goodbyes," I awkwardly laughed. 

Why did he have to be so stubborn? Even after two years, he failed to accept himself. Unless he was putting on a pretty good pretence, pfft. I doubt that. He nodded and took a reluctant step backwards as I moved towards him. Great. He was actually playing that trick with me? Pushing me away. Nah, I'm not taking that, not after two goddamn years. Is he for real? 

"Don't even think about it, Graham," I murmured, wrapping my arms around him in a warm embrace. 

Graham and I stood at the same height, while he held a more butch figure. He was a football player for the school, and is now one for the University. Nothing is in his view but football for his future. His arms lingered, not even bothering to show me any affectionate. His hugs were usually amazing. Secure, warm, inviting, please hug me back, Graham, it could be the last time. My arms gripped his back as I felt tears steadying themselves in my eyes. 

"Why haven't you just accepted yourself already? You know what you are, you know it very well, Graham," I pleaded, tears releasing from my eyes. 

I buried my head into his neck and felt his warmth, smelled his after shave and let my hands wrap around his waist. I will always love this boy, forever and ever. I brought my head from his neck and went in for a kiss, unfortunately, he snapped his head to his right and resulted in me kissing his cheek, repeatingly. After he placed his hands in his front jeans pockets, I decided to break loose. 

"I wonder do you remember the year that we dated?! Yes, we actually dated. Remember? Oh my gosh, Graham, I fell head over heels inlove with you, it was ridiculous. I couldn't function anymore without thinking of you. And it's still happening! I love you, I love you, I love you so so so so much. Wow, rejection is wonderful. Mind you, you wouldn't know the first stage in that, would you?" I yelled, yet whispering. 

Our liaison was still a secret, or what was left of it. If anything. 

 A hint of emotion flashed through his eyes but quickly left. His eyes twitched, and flickered from the front door to me and back again, "Bye, Graham," he said, in a low, slow tone. I eyed him and turned to face the door, grabbing the handle and pushing it. I walked out with little to no confidence left and made my way to my car. I sat in it and stared ahead, building false hope that Graham would come out running, apologizing for his lack of affectionate and love, hugging me and holding me, kissing me and fulfilling my life. I wanted him to badly. I mean, I've already had him, for two years from the age of seventeen to nineteen, even though Graham is a year my senior. 

We really did love each other, I know he wasn't faking it. I just know. You cannot fake two years of an intense romance. He could never come out to his parents though, never. They were homophobes of the highest degree and we knew they'd kick him out. I was fostered by his family so he couldn't stay with me, ever. I only moved in with Derek, Kath, Graham and his older brother Edward when I turned sixteen. Let's just say, my father wasn't very polite to my mother. 

I turned the engine on and made my way on a nine hour journey, stopping off inbetween in Manchester. London to Scotland wasn't exactly a pleasant journey, more... draining if anything. I drove for four hours and reached my hotel. I made my way to my room and sat on my single bed, completely fed up. Eight pm and I was bored. I felt my phone vibrating and looked at the screen to see who was calling me. The one and only, Graham. 

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