The shade of werewolf

33: ache

        I look at myself in the mirror and hold my breath. I have changed so much since I've left and moved in with Calvin. My mom and I hardly ever talk anymore, and when we do the conversation is kept short and sweet. Ren and I never speak unless I call him first. I guess that's what happens when you get older. Everyone seems to forget about you.

Quietly I study myself. My hair has grown a few inches since I've left, and I think I may have even grew a few inches height wise too. I know that I've put on a few pounds since I've been here, but there's nothing wrong with that.

My fingers scrape over the crook of my neck where my mark is to go. The bareness of my neck makes me feel so many types of ways. Most of all- worthless. Calvin had spilled his heart out to me three days ago, but without his mark on me- I don't feel like we're complete. My wolf aches for him to claim her like he has claimed me. A mark is to show that I belong to him to his followers. Without that, I feel as though his wolf hasn't accepted me. Although- I know he has.

I watch as Calvin enters the bathroom and stands behind me in the mirror. Quietly, his fingers trace where my own had just been and he lets out a sigh. "I'm tired of waiting," he admits, wrapping an arm around my waist. I look at him through the mirror and quietly hold onto my towel. The shower water is running, and I've got to get in before the water gets cold.

"So am I." I reply, spinning around to face him. "But you've beaten it into my brain that you're not going to until I shift." I grumble out the harsh truth. The only thing worse then that is the idea that I may never shift.

"Maybe claiming you is what's going to push her out." Calvin says softly, deep in thought. My lips slightly part as I fall silent. I hadn't thought about that before, and I know it's come across his mind more than once. Why was he holding back? Why won't he just mark me?

His eyes linger on the crook of my neck. They flash between his normal dark brown and the golden yellow of his wolf. He presses a tender kiss just below my earlobe and inhales deeply. "I'm losing my self control," he admits into my ear. The hairs on the back of my neck stand, and goosebumps rise onto my skin. "Let me shower with you." He urges, nudging his nose over my cheek.

I swallow, hard. "Okay," I whisper, a fear rising in me. I've showered with him before, but it was under a whole different circumstance. I'm not in heat this time, and he isn't trying to take the pain away. He's the one that's begging for me. Something about him being some dominate yet so gentle at the same time makes my body go hay-wire.

Calvin grins. It's a smile that I've seen so often, but I still have yet to get used to. I don't think I ever will. That smile is one that you'll never forget.

  I yell in surprise when he picks me up. Calvin tugs the towel from my body and walks me to the shower. The warmth of the water beats over me and cools my skin. I shut my eyes and run my fingers through my messy hair.

His shower is probably my all time favorite place in his house. The warmth of the water always seems to last forever, and it's calming in here. There's no wonder why Calvin chose this bedroom out of the many he has in this house. Everything about this room is perfect.

   Calvin enters the shower moments later, I stiffen. "For someone who has seen me naked more than a handful of times, you always seem to look so surprised that I get this way in front of you." He chuckles, pulling my body towards his and pressing a kiss on my forehead.