Brothers (Destiel AU)

chapter 11

DEAN

I decide to go home late in the evening. I don't need them asking where I've been, what I was doing, why did I leave, etc.

I get home to arguing and raised voices. They all sit at the dinner table, plates full of food but none is being eaten. My dad sits at the end of the table furthest from me, Sam sitting on the end close to me, then Gwen and Cas sit on the sides, two chairs are empty. Sam sits forward staring at his food, poking it with his fork, he looks annoyed. Gwen and my dad are arguing over something, I'm not sure yet. And Cas sits with his elbows on the table, his head hidden in his hands. I grab the empty chair next to Cas and scoot it more towards Sam and sit in it. "What's goin' on?" I ask keeping my voice low. Sam looks up at me. "Cas got expelled from school," I million of questions race through my mind. "Why?" I ask. He shakes his head. "He got into a fight.... well, actually, he beat up someone, I guess." Beat up someone? That doesn't sound like something Cas would do. "D-do you know who?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Sorry bro, don't know who or why he did it in the first place." Sam says. "Hmm." I say. Before I can think about anything Cas lifts his head up and stands. His face his red, I'm not sure what from; crying, anger, or just from it being in his hands too long? "Stop it!" He shouts. Everyone falls silent. "I know I messed up, I know. And I know you're angry but would you please stop taking it out on each other? If anyone do it to me, I deserve it! I fucked up very very badly these past few weeks," His eyes slide over to mine for a quick second then back to Gwen and my dad. "And I'm sorry and I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. Anyways you fighting is not going to solve anything god dammit!" He screams. We all just stare at him, not knowing what to do then Cas starts walking away. "So much for not taking our anger out on each other." I mutter. Sam elbows me in the side and apparently Cas heard cause he glares at me before going up the stairs.

Apparently Cas' little speech didn't work cause at night. I hear some hushed shouts and slamming doors. I lay on my back, in my bed, staring up at the bottom of Cas' mattress. I told him that I loved him yesterday then a few hours later broke up with him. No wonder why he hesitated before he said he loved me back, cause he doesn't, he loves Josh. Somehow knowing that he's up there, hearing him breathe, and hearing every move he makes, makes it harder to breathe. Like I'm running out of air. I've never felt this way before, I've never been heart-broken. I shut my eyes and force myself to go to sleep, like if sleep will erase the pain.

~

ONE WEEK LATER

Cas walks into the room. His eyes quickly slide over mine so they don't quiet meet. He walks to the dresser in out closet and pulls open a drawer. I sit on my bed, one leg up so I can tie my shoe. When I finish tying it I let my leg slide down so both of my feet touch the ground.

"You don't have to make things so awkward you know." I say, finally. I wait for a reply but when I realize he won't reply I continue. "I mean, when we are all hanging out as a family or whatever. Can we at least try to be friends, for them. If you don't want to when we're alone I understand, I mean nothing will ever be the same so..." I say. We haven't talked at all since I broke up with him, we've both been ignoring each other. He clears his throat. "Uh-yeah, sure, I'll try to do that." He says awkwardly.

He turns around, our eyes meet a second to long. Anger fills my body as the image of him kissing Josh comes to my head. He quickly looks away then walks off.