One Day, Maybe. #NewAdult

Chap 14: And Baby Makes Four

      Growing up, I never saw myself becoming a mother or even having a child. Not that I necessarily didn't want kids, but I've always thought that any kid would be so much better not having me as a mother. I never thought I could ever be a good mom for any child, Not with the upbringing that I've had or the things I've had to endure growing up. I never thought I would ever be mature enough, no matter my age, to have someone else depend on me this much and in a way, I was fine with that realization. Not everyone was fit to be a parent, and I definitely wasn't.

          The fact that I've never actually had a role model in my life that I could take notes on, was frosting on the cake when I was concerned.

           When James and I started our relationship or whatever it was back in the days, I never thought that it would last long enough for me to even consider having a child with the man, especially because of how dysfunctional that relationship was.

          James had a lot of baggage he had to carry and I, myself, was emotionally damaged. I think in a way, that was the reason why we couldn't stay away from one another. James tried so hard not be like his father that in the end he became what he despised the most. And as for me, I wanted to be better than my prostitute of a mother that I ended becoming a fancier version of her. Though I wasn't sleeping with many men, but people could see what James and I had at the beginning and draw that same conclusion.

          Nevertheless, even with all that has happened between us, all the heartbreaks and the pains and the breakups and then the makeups, we've found our way back to each other. We've grown separately and together, and we are still learning along the way and aren't scared to seek help.

           Four years ago, when I found out I was carrying James' child, we both were in horrible places in our lives, trying to fight our demons. We weren't ready. I wasn't ready.

           Well this time around, five years after we've first laid eyes on one another and even with the things currently happening in our lives, there would be no other more perfect moment than this. We had been ready for that wonderful step. And even though that thought alone was frightening, I welcomed it with open arms.

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        There was a not so subtle  knock on the door of the bathroom that I was currently occupying.

         "Yes?" I called out, already knowing who it was since she had been bugging me for the past five minutes.

        "So?" Rose asked.

        "Nothing yet." I replied.

         "Ughhhhh," She groaned, then adding right after, "What's taking so long? It's not that hard." Of course, referring to the reason why I had been sitting on that toilet seat and hadn't peed on the pregnancy stick yet.

          "How can I go when you're behind the damn door pressuring me and shit." I retorted while concentrating on what my mission was; to pee on the freaking test.

         "Maybe you should give her more water to drink or something." I frowned. Was that Eva I was hearing? I leaned my body toward the door to be able to hear clearly what was being said.

         "Eva, trust me. I gave her enough water. She's either holding it in or there's something wrong with her freaking bladder." Rose replied.

         "Did you call Eva?" I yelled out to make sure Rose could hear me.

        "Yes, I did. Now hurry up."

        I scoffed, a little bemused. I honestly thought we would have waited for the results to come up before calling our friends with the news, I wasn't expecting Rose, with her big mouth, to just go ahead and call them.