One Day, Maybe. #NewAdult

Ch.39: My Heart Belongs To You

I wasn't sure how long it had been after I had laid down with Sebastian for his nap that I returned to the present. I opened my eyes, my lids heavy with sleep, fighting me every second of it. I needed more rest; of course, I did. But I knew I had to wake up. I couldn't keep sleeping and wasting the day. I straightened my back slightly on the bed and stretched my arms to ease the kinks. My body was still protesting when I finally noticed someone standing by the window. I slowly lifted Sebastian off me and sat down, ensuring I hadn't woken him up.

        By the quickening of my heartbeat, I knew who it was. I called out, squinting, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the light. The sun was setting; it looked almost dreamy with a nostalgic air. In this hospital room, the light behind him was this beautiful yellow, brown, and pink glow. I heard him more than I saw him, his footsteps light yet precise. He was coming to me.

         "Charlotte. Hi."

         "Hi," I said as I watched him sit beside me on the bed. Just sniffing him made me super aware of how close his body was to mine, and I blushed, remembering, for an odd reason, the last time we'd been intimate.

        I looked away, not wanting him to see me nervous. I didn't know what was happening to me. This person wasn't me. I knew him. My being nervous was like we'd lost that little link between us. It's like we don't know each other anymore. "Thank you for coming."

          "Of course," he said, and the sincerity in his voice told me he meant it. "Are you okay?" He cupped my face, and I immediately leaned into his touch, my eyes closing shut. It was like I could finally breathe. It was like coming home. It was everything I knew deep down that I needed.

         The fact that I've missed him should not be a shock, but the intensity I've missed him was what I hadn't expected. I was starved. I've missed him so terribly. His hands on me have always felt like they belonged on my body. Like somehow, my body was made to enjoy his touches and caresses. His palm was warm and reassuring, and I just let myself feel enveloped in its comfort. I sighed, not caring that I let my guard down; I allowed him to see how much I needed him.

         But it was out of my control. It was so wonderful having James right here with me. And God, I wanted more. I wanted him to hold me and never let go. Now that I let go of wanting to appear unaffected by him, I wanted it all. I've missed him so much. His presence, I forgot, soothed me. I forgot how much James grounded me. Not having him with me, now I could admit, had been harder on me than I let myself believe before. I whined a sound I could be ashamed of making later left my lips.

        He must have sensed what I needed, and he hurried even closer to him, wrapping his arms around me; I shoved my nose in the crook of his neck and inhaled him, taking him inside myself; I let myself be surrounded by James—letting his strength guard me.

          "I've missed you," I all but cried, my words coming out as a whisper to him, not wanting to lie or be strong anymore. I was okay with him, knowing that I needed him. James was strong; of course, he could care for both of us.

           "I've missed you, too, baby. " He kissed my temple gently, his lips soft and warm, his breath grazing my skin. I felt the hair on my body rise. Fuck, I missed him.

          James raised a tentative hand towards my belly. I looked up to find him staring at my rounded belly intently. He wanted to put his hand on it, but he wasn't sure if he was allowed. My heart broke, but I smiled through the sadness. "It's okay to touch me. Please touch me. " I told him and hoped he heard how sincere I was. He took a big breath and let it out, his chest puffing and settling. My heartbeat skipped harder in anticipation. Then his hand landed ever so gently on my rounded belly.

           For a moment, nothing happened, which was odd as our baby was well known to love doing gymnastics inside me. Sebastian's new favorite thing was touching my belly while the baby moved. He would squeal and giggle every time he'd feel his little sister's movements which were sometimes non-stop.

           It was as if the air in the room stood still, and we both held our breath. James' hand started moving tentatively at first, making goosebumps all over my body. I shivered a little, which made James look up at me. "Is that Okay?" He all but murmured the words to me.

        Unable to speak, my whole being was captivated by the man sitting in front of me. I nodded my head in affirmation, blue eyes meeting mine. And right then, the baby finally decided to make her presence known with the most brutal kick she had given me in recent days.

        I winced and instinctively put my hand above his, the spot the baby kicked. "For the love of God, this child will be in gymnastics the second she can walk alone." I grimaced and tightened my hand on his. He smiled then, big and full of happiness and joy. "Anything you want." He captured my neck, pulled me in, and kissed me hard, long, and breathless for so long that my mind was blissfully empty by the time our mouths separated, and he finally allowed me to take a breath. With my eyes shut, I could feel his hands everywhere on my body, his lips trailing on my jaw, the crook of my neck, kissing, nipping, and biting his way to my lips, kissing me furiously until I couldn't think and all I could do was hang on tightly to him and not let go. The sound that escaped my lips was all desperation and need. I needed him.

           "God, Charlotte. I don't know how I survived all this time without you. Tell me I can come home?" His eyes bore into mine, so earnest, begging. "Please, Char, let me come home to our family?"

          I wanted that. I liked that so badly that I was shaking with it. My family hadn't been complete since I let him leave the door. I had my reasons, yes. But James and I had been through so much that mending the broken parts of our lives and reclaiming what had been stolen from us was the only way to move forward now. I made a promise, right there and then, that I would never let him go again. Letting him walk out of my life again would be unacceptable. I would never again be parted from him. The whole world is damn.

         But that presented another issue. "What about Sarah?"

        "She will be staying at the penthouse with her 24 hours nurse. If it's okay with you, Ella will be moving in with us. She'll still be spending most of her time with her mother, but she'll be living with us." James answered, his eyes begging me to say yes.

        I beamed at him. "Of course, it's more than okay for her to move in with us. I hadn't even thought of another possibility." Finally, I'd get to have my family with me. I was beyond ecstatic. James sighed, took hold of my face, and pulled me in for a long, hard kiss that took my breath away. When he finally pulled away, I chased the feelings of his lips on mine. He chuckled and kissed me again. And again. And then some more. He kept kissing me until a knock on the door of my room with my still sleeping child was heard. James and I separated with just enough space between our bodies to give attention to whoever was entering. It was Royce's doctor.

I sat straight. My heart hammered in my chest.

"I've got an update on Mr. Welch."

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GAHHHHH told you I was back!!!!! Enjoy, guys, Happy new year's. I love you guys so much.

Spoiler alert. It's all happiness from now.