One Day, Maybe. #NewAdult

Ch.38: I love you, but I must let you go

*Unedited*

The kiss, a fleeting and unexpected encounter, left me momentarily dazed. Christian, with a gentle yet surprising firmness, pushed me away, a subtle sigh escaping his lips. His fingers raked through his hair as he strode purposefully into the expanse of his luxurious penthouse, an air of tension lingering.

"I don't understand," I began, a sense of confusion tinging my voice as I followed his retreating figure. The rhythmic thumping of my heart in my ears heightened, creating an anticipatory backdrop for the weight of his impending words. In the kitchen, bathed in the soft glow of ambient light, he opened the fridge with deliberate slowness, retrieving a chilled beer before turning to face me.

"I thought you wanted this," I said, the air charged with the residual energy of the interrupted moment.

He took a swig, a brief pause accentuating the exhale that preceded his response. "I do, but you don't."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," I asserted, my steps leading me toward him, only to be abruptly halted by the subtle shake of his head. I stood frozen, caught in the undertow of our shared unease.

"How selfish would it be for me to pretend that's true when I know where your heart lies? I'm in love with you. That's the truth, but I've come to accept it's not reciprocated."

"That's not true; you know I love you."

"In a way, maybe, but not the same as you love him," Chris said, the amber liquid in his glass mirroring the complexity of our emotions. Placing the half-empty beer on the sleek counter, he bridged the distance between us, his hands cradling my head with a mixture of tenderness and resignation. I leaned into his touch, eyes closing to savor the warmth that momentarily distracted from the brewing storm.

"I'm not the one you can't live without. I wish I were because I'd do anything to make you happy," he confessed, his words a soft lament, laden with the ache of unrequited love.

Opening my eyes, the scene before me blurred, and a solitary tear traversed the contours of my cheek. "I'm sorry, Chris. I've tried relentlessly to extricate myself from the grip of my feelings for Darcy, but the more I struggle, the deeper they entwine with my bones. I can't separate myself from them," I confessed, allowing the tears to flow freely. The emotional burden that had silently consumed me now found its voice, echoing in the spacious silence of his penthouse.

"Shhh, it's okay, Charlotte. It pains me to utter these words, for it signifies releasing you. Yet, I comprehend because my love for you mirrors yours. In a way, I acknowledge that I might forever harbor that love." Gently, he brushed away a tear from my face, and a faint smile played on my lips as I turned my head to kiss the palm cradling me. "The moments we've shared have been joyous, but I need to set you free."

My tears flowed harder, the anguish of his words and the painful realization clawing at me. My body shook with suppressed cries. "I don't want to lose you. I can't bear the thought of not having you in my life again."

"But you must," his voice fractured as he spoke. "You must because I can't be near you, knowing I can't have you the way I want to. It would break me."

Opening my eyes, I witnessed the raw emotions etched on his face-love, yearning, longing, and loss. Despite him not being James, the simplicity and happiness we shared echoed in my heart. We could have built a beautiful life together. I reached for him, pulling his head down to kiss him with all the intensity within me, recognizing that this was farewell. I chose to let him go, knowing I needed to embrace Darcy. Though I loved him, I could endure life without him. Darcy had claimed a place so profound in my heart that living without him seemed impossible.