One Day, Maybe. #NewAdult

Ch.27: Memories Of Happiness

*Barely Edited*
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       There is a saying about your past always catching up to you in the most inopportune moments. That couldn't have been any more true than what was happening now.

         I never would have expected to have James and Chris in the same room ever again. Not only because they both hated each other, but simply because I was a coward who never wanted to face my past and present all at once.

          I was in the mindset of letting the past rest and building up to your present and hoping the present would lead to a great future. That was what I was wanting with James.

          Not to say that I didn't love Chris, because I think I did, in my own way I did love him. And maybe that love wasn't enough for me to stay with him and not go back running into the arms of a man who had hurt me so much when Chris was promising me nothing but happiness, removed from any pain and suffering I had endured with James Darcy, but deep within me, there was still that hunger and panic at the thought of never having James in my life again.

          So that's why I went back to him. I went back to James when Chris was promising me all the love that I had ever wanted-pain free, because although I loved Chris, I could see myself live without him and still be okay. With James Darcy, well that was another thing on its own.

          "Well, this was most certainly pleasant but I must be going now." This quickly brought me back to what my mind had quickly escaped. I looked over at Chris who wasted no time making his way towards the doors of the hospital I noticed for the billionths time, never actually stayed close for more than two minutes, seeing as it was one of the most popular and famous hospitals not only in New York, but also in the whole country.

         "Chris" I called out after him but really it was more so an impulse as I had nothing to say. What could I have possibly said? Sorry for being a shitty person? I promise I did love you? Don't feel so bad about my leaving you, James and I are having problems anyway so at least you could find pleasure in that.

         Chris turned around to meet my eyes but never once stopped moving. As if he couldn't wait to get as far away from me as possible. Who could blame him?

         He smiled. And though it wasn't the usual one that was so bright and beautiful that you simply couldn't resist smiling back, I still realized that I've missed it so much. I've missed him smiling at me. Because that smile made me happy.

         "Have a wonderful life, Charlotte and let's never do this again. Sounds great?" And with that, he was gone and all I could stare at were the doors closing back behind him.

            I don't know how long I stood there staring at the doors for. I didn't know what I was waiting for. For him to come back and yell at me, make a scene, anything really. Anything other than that because then it would have meant he was upset. Because you see, the nonchalance that he had showed me, well that shit hit me more than I thought it would.

          I shouldn't have cared that he wasn't much more upset than I thought he would be. That was childish and selfish of me. After all, it had been years and that was inconsiderate of me to have even a little glimpse of hope that he had any emotions or even a little soft spot left for me. It was ridiculous for me to think that he wouldn't have moved on just like I did.

         "Charlotte."

          I shook my head as a soft chuckle escaped my lips. I had, for a moment, forgotten that James was still standing there. I looked right at him and prayed that what I was feeling at that instant was not showing on my face.