One Day, Maybe. #NewAdult

Ch. 33. I'll Always Be Here

Charlotte :

          "Hey," I said as James entered the room I had been assigned for what I assumed would be the rest of my stay at the hospital. I was tired and felt like I could sleep for days on end. Yet, the idea of staying in this bed for longer than tonight was making my head spin. "What are you doing here?" I wouldn't say I was completely surprised to see him. I figured my being here would have been made known to him sooner or later.

       "Rose called me." he replied. As I figured. He made his way over to the chair by the table in the corner of the room, pulled it toward the bed I was occupying and sat down near me. "How are you feeling?" Came the inevitable question from him. I tried on a smile, my arms resting heavily on each side of my body. I could reply that I'm fine, but that would have been an obvious lie that no one needed to be bothered with.

      "She shouldn't have had bothered you. I'm already feeling much better." That actually was also technically not true, but I didn't want him to worry about me.

        "Charlotte," he started, taking my hand in his which startled me a bit, making me realize I had closed my eyes. I couldn't remember the last time James had touched me, and I guess, the feeling of his flesh touching mine was somehow foreign now. That made me truly sad. And whether it was due to my hormones or the fact that I hadn't truly let myself dwell on how much his absence was breaking me, at that moment, all I wanted to do was cry. And, for a moment, just be a woman in mourning for what she had lost. But then again, now wasn't the time.

        I opened my eyes and looked down at our now intertwined  fingers. Letting go of the breath I was holding, I laid my head back down, letting my eyes fall shut yet again.

     "Nothing could have stopped me from being here with you. You're not only my wife, you're the mother of my kids. You're my whole life, Charlotte. I do hope you'll never forget that."

       "James," I whispered. Now wasn't the moment for this. I wasn't in the right mindset to deal with the emotions that came with his presence here and his words. I tried to free my hand, he held on tight.

        "I am madly in love with you. I think I've known since the moment my eyes set on you that you'll change my life forever_"

       "You can't do this to me, it's not fair." My voice broke but that was okay. I couldn't be expected to be okay all the time.

        "Please, you have to listen to me, Charlotte."

        "I am listening."

       "Okay, then hear me then. Truly hear me. This is ridiculous. Us being apart is ridiculous. It shouldn't be, we should be together. Not only For the sake of our family, but for our own sakes. Obviously we are not doing well apart. I haven't been able to sleep in weeks. And you, God, look at you." He stopped. I could hear the pain in his words.

      I opened my eyes and looked at him then. Even with his head down and his eyes shut, I could still read all the emotions that were displayed on his face. He was showing me how vulnerable he was by letting his guards down. He had told me once that only I could bring that out of him and that scared him. How open he was with me, how his emotions were left on display in front me and he was weak to stop it.

          "You lost so much weight," he carried on after awhile. "They say you were so dehydrated they had to put in a second IV. You haven't been eating, Charlotte."

        "Yes, I have." I retorted.

         He shook his head, holding my gaze. "No, you haven't."