One Day, Maybe. #NewAdult

Ch.29: Stand Still

         WHAT. THE. FUCK!?

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK!?

       Chris was kissing me.

       Chris was fucking kissing me...on the mouth I'd add...and very much passionately. And as I stood there, completely unable to either utter a single word or to move an inch, all of which from pure shock, I had a nagging thought in my head telling me, whispering shamelessly that maybe, just maybe; a little part of me had expected it to happen...and that this same little part had wanted it to happen, even if for a blink of a second.

         Of course that couldn't be true. That could absolutely not be true. So why wasn't I pushing him away? Why was I letting it happen? But better yet, why the fuck did I start to relax as my eyes fell close and my arms lifted up to his neck.

        I had meant to shove him hard, push him away from me and yell for him to get the fuck out and the fuck away from me, to never set foot near me. And how dared he even kiss me when he knew damn well that I was taken. That I was not his to kiss, not his to hold, and maybe I had never been his, not really.

         I had wanted to say it all. To make sure he understood that this was not the behavior I would put up with. Yet, here I was, kissing him back, giving back the same energy he was putting in. I felt the exact moment he noticed that I was finally kissing him back, that my shock had left me.

        He grunted and pulled me tighter into him, holding my head in place as he whispered, "I've missed you so fucking much." He growled and took my mouth again, the kiss rough and desperate as if making up for all the lost time.

       That nagging feeling, still present in the back of my mind, warning me that we were getting into dangerous territory, begging me to pull away and stop this nonsense, that it wasn't too late to do so.

       Say no, just say no. You still have time, you still haven't done anything to feel ashamed about. Just say no, Charlotte, push him away. The voice said, that damming voice in the back of my mind. I lifted up, ignoring the warning and met his kiss, just as desperate, I opened my mouth just in time for him to push his tongue in, receiving the entrance that he so obviously wanted.

       And then I heard the elevator dinged. I followed the sound just as I noticed James walking in, lifting his eyes in time to meet my own. My heart jumped, immediately, I removed my hands from around Chris' neck and stepped back, something I should have done the moment he started kissing me.

       "James," I whispered as I watched his face go from confused, wondering what the fuck he was looking at, to shocked, unable to imagine that what he was seeing was accurate, to furious, so very furious, absolutely fuming, in a matter of seconds. He stared at me. I held his eyes, begging, just begging him to try and not lose his mind.

       "James," I tried again. "Baby, don't." I shook my head, my body trembling at the sight of him, my words shaking as they came out.  He turned his face then towards Chris, I could feel the fury in his eyes. I could feel, from this far, the way his body was quavering, not from fear, because God knew there was no fear in his eyes- but from a rage so intense, I had to take a step back. I watched him and saw the moment he lost the battle he was fighting with himself to reign in his anger. Then he pounced, his eyes focused solely on Chris.

      "I'm going to fucking kill you, you piece of shit."

      And at that moment, as James grabbed Chris by his shirt collar and his fist without hesitation connected with Chris' face, I knew, without a single doubt, that he could and not only that he could, but that he just might.