Love Complicates Things

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Truth

Prepare yourself for a wave of sadness.

[UNEDITED]

I have spent several days soaking in confusion and deep contemplation for my next course of action. I haven't been physically or emotionally able to tell myself or what's needed to be done. Every day when I see Will's face, all smiling and without a care in the world, I force myself to forget my obligation to the truth.

The truth always comes to light sooner or later and I suppose I would much rather confess the truth sooner rather than being caught in a web of lies later on.

Telling the truth can be a ferociously scary thing to do. When faced with confrontation, your heart seems to beat irregularly. Your hands start to sweat and you can't seem to sit still or look in the same direction for too long. Your mind seems trapped in an endless loop of what ifs and maybes and it stirs your stomach into knots.

You think you're a good person until you're faced with the hard truth and with the lies you've woven into a net; the ropes cast over you like a prison of your own making.

I know deep down that telling Will what I've done is the right thing. For both of us. But at the same time a huge part of me is screaming to just let it go. Things ended up okay, right? I'm happy, Will is happy, everyone is happy.

I think of being with Will years down the road all while knowing I kept something so huge from him. I don't think I could stomach it.

I have to tell him. Soon, before I change my mind.

"Something on your mind?" Will chuckles as he chews on his sub sandwich, a dab of mayo and mustard smeared on his lower lip.

I'm always telling him not to eat in between classes especially one period away from lunch but he makes an excuse about his manly appetite and I always seem to drop it. As we stand in the bustling hallway, my back against my locker and him chewing away at his sandwich, I can't seem to find the strength to rebuke him this time.

I smile softly, using my thumb to wipe it away. "I was just thinking about how I need to talk with you about something after school."

He gives me a raised brow. "What about?" He asks in suspicion.

I try for a small laugh but it comes out so quiet that even I can hardly hear it. "Just something I should have told you about a long time ago."

Worry flashes over his eyes but he quickly covers it up with a cheeky smirk, tossing the remains of his sandwich into the nearby trashcan and using his arms to lean against the lockers behind me. "I see where this is going. You want to talk with me after school, hm?" He smiles, leaning in close to my face.

I press the palms of my hands against his chest in attempt to keep him at bay, the seriousness of the situation weighing on me. But I smile despite myself, his cheekiness amusing me more than it should in this moment.