Forbidden Love [Larry Stylinson]

Chapter 27

*TRIGGER WARNING*
Mentions self harm

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When I wake up, I am met with an empty bed. I rub my eyes and stretch before checking my phone; the time reads 7:25. Sitting up, I look around the room and find no sign of Harry. As if on cue, I hear Harry's feet quietly padding up the stairs.

"Did I wake you?" Harry asks with slight concern in his voice. He is shirtless, and I can visibly see his body stiffen up as he realizes this. Harry then reaches for the discarded sweatshirt he was wearing yesterday and puts it on. However, I decide it's a good a time as any to talk about what I saw.

"Harry? Can you come sit for a minute?" I ask in a gentle tone. Harry warily walks over to the bed and sits down criss-crossed.

"What's up?"

"Honey, last night...I saw something." I start, not knowing how to say it.

"What'd you see? You're making me nervous." Harry admits.

"Come here." I say as I rest my back against the bed's headboard. Harry sits next to me, leaning his back against the headboard as well, and I wrap my arm around his shoulders; then, I sigh, not knowing what to say next.

"What did you see, Louis?" Harry quietly asks, giving in to my comfort and resting his head on my shoulder. We've been all touchy-feely ever since we got high, which was only last night. Does this mean that we're back together? "Lou..." Harry gently calls. I take a deep breath, realizing how much time I've wasted in my own thoughts.

"Fuck it," I mutter. I then grab Harry's left arm and pull his sleeve up. "What is this Harry?" I question. As I look down, I see that there are fresh cuts over the old ones. I guess that explains why he was downstairs when I woke up. My eyes sting with tears and my bottom lip begins to tremble when I observe each new cut; his wrist is littered with them all the way to the middle of his forearm. When I meet Harry's eyes, they are wide with shock and tears are playing at his eyes. Harry squirms underneath me, trying to escape the hold I have on his wrist, but my grip is firm enough to withstand it. "Babe..." I start. I could not care less about trying not to use "couple" nicknames right now. I guess we're back together now. Fuck it.

"Louis, please." Harry pleads as he tries to get away from my grip once more. I look into his eyes once again and see the desperation through his glassy and tear filled eyes and let go of his wrist. Upon doing so, Harry retreats to the end of the bed and brings his knees to his chest, pulling his sleeves down over his hands.

"Harry, I just wanna know why. Please talk to me."

"You don't know how much I miss you. I miss everything we do, like waking up together, joking around, even just being in the same room! All of it's gone now, just because I tried to please management. It's all my fault, Louis, I deserve to hurt for the pain I caused you." Harry sobs, rocking himself back and forth.

"Harry, stop that, come here." I instruct.

"No, we're not together anymore, we shouldn't. I shouldn't even be here. We're supposed to be broken up!" Harry shouts. After that, he completely breaks down. He starts to breath shallow, shaky breaths, and balls his hair into his fists and starts tugging at it as tears finally fall from his eyes.

"Hazza, please don't do that. Come here." I repeat. Despite his condition, Harry hears the undertone of authority in my voice and obeys. I move so that I'm laying under the covers, and Harry slowly joins me. It's probably a better idea to talk to him later about why he hurt himself. "Shhh, you're alright love, you're here." I coo as I rock Harry back and forth in my arms, quietly humming a slow song. After reassuring him a few more times, I attempt to release his hands from his hair, which is a successful mission. As soon as Harry lets go of his hair, he balls my shirt into his fists. "Harry?" I ask, just above a whisper.

"Hmm?" Harry replies.

"When did you start?"

"Before I went to smoke with you and Zayn was the first time." He says with some hesitation.

"Is that all?"

"No, this morning too." Harry says, sounding almost guilty, as he buries his head in my chest.

"Hey, no, you're alright. It's okay, Hazza. You don't have to hide, I'm not mad or anything, you just scared me." I confess as I rub his back. "I think the boys are coming over today, so we can have some fun. Does that sound good?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Yeah." Harry looks at me and gives me a small smile. "Did you look outside?" Harry asks after a few minutes, excitement suddenly in his voice.

"No, what's outside darling?" I wonder.

"Come on!" Harry giggles, getting out of bed and grabbing hold of my wrist.

"Wait, wait, wait, let me get sweatpants, it's bloody cold!" I say. Harry quickly walks over to his closet and picks up a random pair of sweatpants, tossing them to me. "Ooh, these are the nice ones." I cheer as I slip the baggy sweatpants on. They fit Harry just fine, but I have to roll them up a little bit at my ankles.

"Nice socks." Harry snorts.

"Thank you, I call them speckle socks." I chuckle. Once again, Harry takes my hand and leads me downstairs so we can sit on the couch as we look out the window.

"Wow, look at that! It's beautiful." I say in awe, eyes wide at the marvelous sight in front of me. I look over at Harry and wrap my arm around his torso and he, too, is admiring the winter wonderland outside.

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