The Story of Zalfie

17: Alone

The days were long and depressing following Joes loss.

I thought it'd be another 50 odd years before I head to worry about losing him, it was still such a shock to the system.

Last week it was his funeral, and I'd been to visit his grave 3 times.

I hadn't uploaded onto YouTube since last month either, but honestly, I just wasn't in the mood.

In other words, I couldn't be bothered. I was alone. I had Alfie, who had been extremely supportive through all this, but other than the love of my life, alone. Completely and utterly alone.

3pm and I was peckish. I poured myself a bowl of lucky charms and sat in my kitchen, staring at a wall.

Elsie began licking my toe's, and I looked down and smiled.

She could obviously feel my depression, it was coming off me like my stench, I hadn't showered in 5 days. Couldn't be bothered.

It was also hard to say me and Alfie were beginning to grow apart.

We still loved each other, but I was cranky due to hormones and I was alone. Completely and Utterly alone.

The Youtuber's were meeting at the Italian in Brighton that night, Alfie had began to get ready.

I went upstairs to do so myself, and was back down in half an hour.

We headed to the restaurant in Alfie's car.

We held hands most of the way, but Alfie had to occasionally change gears.

When we arrived, it's like everyone had forgotten about Joes death.

Except the fact there was an empty seat leftover like they'd left one for him.