Colby Brock- Hero

Chapter 48 - Just A Screw Up

"Thank you officer," I sniffled while shaking his hand. I watched the tall man walk away as I sunk back onto the uncomfortable plastic waiting room chairs. Sam placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder as the rest of the guys sat either side of me not speaking a word. We knew nothing, they wouldn't tell us anything. We didn't even know if Colby was... if he was... you know.... still with us. "He's a fighter Ri," Sam muttered, the first words that had been muttered in two hours between us. When the guys came in looking broken as ever, I had said the main story. We group hugged and they asked if I was okay. Physically I was fine. I had been checked over and with some seriously bruised wrists and stitches on my neck, they declared me 'lucky' and 'fine to go if I wanted too'. Like I could leave... I wasn't leaving this place until I was walking out hand in hand with Colby.

The boys had listened to me talk to the officer we met early this morning, god that felt like years ago. It was currently 10pm and the hospital was quieter then when we first arrived five hours ago. The officer took my statement and every other detail I could think of, although my mind was all over the place it was reliving to hear him say I was safe and that Mitch would be behind bars for a while and my family were being tracked as we talked.

I suppose in this time I realised how dependent I'd become of Colby. Not in a way that I'd die with out him, but emotionally... gosh he was always there for me. Every time tears blurred my vision I wanted to turn to him and cry into his chest, while he'd hold me close. He'd whisper everything would work out in the end and I'd always believe him. Colby would let me cry for a bit then tell me something funny to bring a smile to my face. Then we'd do something to get my mind off it, go for a walk or explore a new building. That's just who we were. But here I am surrounded by people I love, call me selfish but without Colby... it just wasn't enough.

I sat playing with a thread off my sweater for another hour. Staring off into space or watching the clock turn excruciatingly slowly. I swear seconds has gotten longer since I started watching it. It also annoyed me that the hands ticked slower when going up and faster when coming down, stupid gravity killing my OCD. The boys were on their phones or also staring off into space.

"Cole Brock?" A stern sounding voice called out. I turned my head quickly and rose from the seat. My heart beat increased as nerves flooded throughout my body. I walked up to the doctor and could hear the sound of the others behind me. "Alright. He's stable," was all the doctor had to say for me to start breathing again. "The knife punctured the lumbar area, which you should count yourselves lucky for. From what we can tell no nerves were hit which is good, but our biggest hurdle is the huge amount of blood loss he encountered. I'm very sorry to inform you Cole is in a coma. Not medically induced so we are unable to say when he will wake up, but once more of our donated blood is pumped into his body he could come back any time. It could be tomorrow, it could be six months from now. We can't say, I'm sorry." I felt my breath get caught in my throat as tears sprung to my eyes.

Once again tears started falling down my cheek. I felt someones hand on my shoulder as they pulled me close to let me cry into their chest. I could tell it was Sam pretty quickly, but what shattered me was hearing his sobs too. We all stood there for a while, tears in everyones eyes as Sam and I held each other for support. "Want to go see him? Two people at a time can go in at once," the doctor softly offered. Sam nodded and pulled my arm to follow the doctor.

We got to a special part of the hospital that was more private and restricted. "Here is his room. The rest can wait on these chairs, you can go in and talk to him... he may be able to hear or he may not," The doctor explained while gesturing to the door that read 501 and the more comfortable looking waiting chairs. "Riley and Sam should go first," Corey said with meaningful emotion in his voice. "Yeah I agree," Elton stated which made Aaron nod. "I don't think I can," I said staring at the door blankly. "It's okay Riley, he would want to hear your voice more than anyones," Aaron said. Sam gave me a small reassuring nod, so I stepped forward and placed my hand on the cold metal handle and took a breath.

I opened the door slowly and peered inside. "Oh my...Colby," I whispered. I didn't even notice myself walking towards him until I was standing to the side of his bed. I couldn't take my eyes off him even though it hurt to see. He was so pale and limp with wires placed around his body. A bag of blood hung to the side of him filtering its contents into his left arm. An oxygen mask covered a lot of his face. I grabbed his hand gently, it was so cold. Unlike his usual comforting warmth. "I'm so...so sorry," I whispered as my voice croaked, "It's all my fault." I rested the top of my head on the hand I was holding as I sobbed. "Wake up soon Colby please, I need you by my side," I cried not caring that Sam stood near the foot of the hospital bed listening.

"It's not your fault Riley," Sam said. "Not my fault? Not my damn fault? Tell me one way this is not my fault. My Ex? My family? I was meant to get hurt! Me. Not my friends, not Colby. Me. I should of ran and I knew it. Every day I'm around you guys I feel the need to run, but I cant because its nice to have a family that cares for once. And now look, the person I love most in the world, is...is...dying because I was selfish. Because I put myself first. And now I've hurt you, I've hurt Elton, Corey and Aaron. What am I even doing? You'd all be better off without me and don't try and tell me differently. Don't try and tell me your lives haven't got more dramatic with me in it. All I've done is ruin everything since I showed up. I'm a screw up! Nothing but a pain! I cant... I just cant!" I exploded. I stood with up with tears in my eyes, took one last look at Colby and ran.

"Riley, no stop! None of that's tr-" I heard behind me but I closed the door. "Riley?" Elton asked as I tried to take off. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back but I shook his hand off. "Whats-" I didn't stick around to hear the next words. I ran to the elevator but the wait was too long so I went to the stairs and ran down them, stumbling a few times. I got to the front doors and ran through them to the road. I pulled my sweater closer as the cold night air hit me. And all I did was start walking.