Ten

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Maddie's POV

"Maddie?" KayKay yells from downstairs.

"Maddie!" She yells again when I don't respond.

Duke is barking from the top of the stairs as I hear KayKay grumble back at him, "At least you're happy this time." Her comment making my heart sting slightly as her footfalls sound heavily through the house as she runs up the stairs.

"Madison Rose Taylor!" She yells again, pushing open the door to the master bedroom. My tears suddenly falling more quickly as she comes into the room, breathing ragged and shallow.

"Mads?"

"I can't." I sob, curling tighter into my cocoon of blankets.

"You can't what?" KayKay frowns, sliding into the bed and pulling me against her chest.

"I can't do it. Not again. I can't live in fear of him again. I can't wake up every morning wondering if today's the day he talks his way out of prison and starts hunting me down. I can't go tell these kids they matter and that they can deal with anything when I can't deal with my own life. I can't do this."

"Maddie. We are all going to help this time."

"No one can help, KayKay. No one knows what hell is running through my dreams. No one knows what I see and physically feel when my eyes close. No one knows how his eyes looked right before he'd hit me, or Sam, and especially right before he killed mom. No one knows that look but me. And I can't get it out of my head! It's tearing through me, causing every single slap to reappear in my skin. Every cut, every bruise, everything. I can feel it all. And I'm drowning in it. I can't, KayKay, I can't live like that again."

"Shhhhhh." KayKay's voice wavers slightly as she hugs me even tighter. "Mads," her voice cracks slightly, "Mads, we are all here to protect you. No one is going to let him lay a hand on you. Not now, not ever again. Calum would literally jump in front of you if he tried."

"I know...." I whisper through the tears, "And that scares me, because that's how I got my scar, that's how I nearly died almost ten years ago. I jumped in front of the bottle to save Sammy's life. What if Calum jumps and he doesn't make it through the injury. What if he dies just like my mom. For me. Because of me..."

"No, Maddie. Not that again. No. You are not to blame and you wouldn't be to blame in that instance either. All of it is Chris' fault, all of it will always be his fault."

"If it's all his fault how are we back to court and trials and walking free? Obviously it wasn't all his fault or the judge would have denied the case. He's going to walk free and he's going to kill me. And every single person I love."

"No he isn't, Maddie. Calum has the best lawyer he can get on your side. He is working relentlessly to keep Chris away."

"I'm putting him in danger by allowing him to help me. I should be strong enough to walk away and let him live his life without my baggage. I knew it was too much. I knew I would hurt people if I let them in. I never should have let him in."

"Don't you dare say that, Madison Taylor. Do not fucking say that. We all love you, we all want to help, and we are all choosing to help. Calum would rather fight beside you that live a second without you. Don't you dare pretend you don't know that with your whole being." KayKay says sternly as she pulls out her phone and does something on it.

"No one should want me. I don't deserve anyone. I should live in a hermit cabin in the woods where my life can stay miserable, without causing anyone else any pain." I cry, hugging tighter to KayKay.

"No, Maddie. You are worthy of love. You deserve the happiness you have found with Calum. You deserve to have all of us as your friends. Please don't think like this again. I don't want to find you in the bathtub again, Mads. I want you to remember how amazing you are. How far you have fought to get out of this mindset. I need you to remember that. We all do. Sammy, Calum, me, Ashton, Sierra, Luke, Michael, Crystal, baby Clifford, Mali. We all need you and so many more people, what about Chloe and Lex? Or Shay, and Sarah, Tiff, Zara and Shawn, Brandon, Ren? What about all your friends. We all know the story, Mads. Remember that, no one is shocked by your story anymore, and we all already chose to stay. Don't get insecure about that." She laughs humorlessly.

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