After being expelled from Ilvermorny for a particularly daring prank, Thalia Scamander finds herself having to readjust to life at Hogwarts. Lucky for her, she hits it off with a group called the Marauders...evidently she hit it off with some more t...
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A dollop of green mush landed onto the plate of a bespectacled boy. Said boy widened his eyes and parted his lips, a disgusted cry of: "What the fuck is that?!" escaping them.
"That, my friend," returned the jolly Irish lilt of his noodle haired friend, "is a small delicacy we muggleborns like to call; guacamole."
He eyed it suspiciously, considering the fact it looked incredibly like snot. "What the fuck-" a throat was cleared. "What the heck," He corrected himself "is guacamole? Surely that's not a real word!" Nathan did not reply, only threw some tortilla chips at him, and uttered
"Dip." In the most wounded voice he could muster at James' expression. The ash haired boy tentatively picked up a crunchy triangle between the tips of his fingers and scooped a small amount of the green gloop onto it. Raising it to his mouth he squeezed his eyes shut, shuddering slightly, before it was knocked to the ground, along with himself, by a bundle of jumpers containing a small brunette girl.
"Nooooooo!" could be heard echoing around the Great Hall, "What are you doing you idiot?! You'll be shitting for days! That is not edible!" The tortilla chip skittered across the flagstones, much to both James and Thalia's relief.
"Dragon!" Nathan protested.
"You." The girl turned to face him, narrowing her eyes. "I have to kiss that." she jabbed her finger in James' direction. "And you try and make him eat it?! I thought you were my friend!" Tears leaked out of the boy's eyes as he doubled over, holding his sides.
"I am a person not an object!" James piped in
"Shush, you toad."
"I swear Dragon, you just ruined the best prank of my life!" Nathan responded, ignoring her rage, and squeaking out the highest pitched laugh she had ever heard, causing her to crack a smile.
"May I ask what I was almost forced to consume, seeing as it would've had me 'shitting for days', as Thalia put it." The bespectacled boy raised his fingers in air quotes.
The substance in question, had been - correct to James' suspicion - snot, Nathan revealing this fact with a smile so wide, the Cheshire cat would have been jealous.
"He made Eloise turn into a troll and snot everywhere for a prank. Had we been aware it was going to be used on her brother, and my boyfriend, maybe she would have been less reluctant!" Thalia shook her head furiously, her brown curls bouncing around her face.
"Or maybe," a voice floated over the table, "I wouldn't have." The girl in question sashayed over to the table, a wicked grin decorating her lips, her own boyfriend in tow.
"I cannot believe you!" Thalia squealed, smacking Eloise, Sirius and Nathan upside the head one after the other. "Come on James! Let's go and find some friends that actually love us!" The girl jumped up, grabbing the hand of James and dragging the boy behind her and flouncing out of the Great Hall, a cry of "REMUS, PETER, WHERE ARE YOU?" echoing back into the room they had just swiftly departed.
****
Rather than finding Remus and Peter, Thalia and James, bickering, walked into the dorm to see Remus and Robyn reading on his bed, chocolate wrappers littered everywhere.
"Robyn! Let's get your opinion on this!" James sat on his bed and stared at the small blonde, not saying anything. Robyn raised an eyebrow as Remus begrudgingly closed his book and put it on his bedside table.
"You want me to read your mind don't you?" Robyn smirked as she leant against Remus' chest and James nodded eagerly, earning a snort from Thalia as she went to sit next to him. Robyn rolled her eyes but soon focused on James, pulling a face after a little while, "Well, I suppose not, no." he muttered and James smirked, pointing a finger in Thalia's face,
"HAH! Birdie agrees with me!" he boasted childishly and Thalia gave him a dirty look.
"I'm sorry, can someone tell me what exactly is going on?" Remus asked and Robyn looked up at him,
"James was wondering whether I, as your girlfriend, should degrade you."
"Degrade!?" Thalia exclaimed, "Prongsie here is butthurt because I called him a toad." Thalia smirked as Robyn and Remus burst into laughter,
"That is degrading!" James slammed his hand onto the bed but it wasn't noticed by the still-giggling couple. Thalia pouted and smoothed James' hair,
"Poor little, froggy." she cooed and James swatted her hand away,
"Frogs and toads are different things." he mumbled and stuck out his bottom lip, beginning to turn his eyes into the irresistible 'Potter Puppy Peepers' when the door opened and Eloise, Sirius and Peter walked in.
"Cooey, chaps and chapettes." Eloise grinned as she walked over to Sirius' bed and made herself comfortable,
"Greetings, guys and girls." Sirius looked very proud of himself as he sat next to Eloise and wrapped his arms around her. Peter stood in the middle of the room, trying to come up with his own. After a few minutes of everyone staring at him expectantly he blurted:
"SUP, SICKOS AND SLAGS!" and went bright red. Everybody in the room blinked at Peter a few times before he squeaked and ran out of the room.
"Is he going to be alright?" Robyn asked and Remus patted her arm,
"He'll be fine." he smiled before turning to Eloise, "By James' lack of shitting everywhere, I take it Nate's guac ploy didn't work?"
Eloise shook her head as James gasped shrilly,
"You knew!?"
"I'm afraid not, Moons. Helpy McHelperton, Thalia Scamander suddenly decided she cared about James' wellbeing." Eloise narrowed her eyes at Thalia who blew her a kiss as James gasped again.
"Suddenly?! How dare you-"
"Prongs! How did you manage to spit on me from over there!" Sirius wiped his face and scowled at the bespectacled boy,
"I did not!" he said indignantly.
"Yes, he did. During the 's' in suddenly." Robyn piped up from Remus' bed.
"GET OUT OF MY MIND!"
"James, calm down, you're going to burst a blood vessel." Thalia patted his knee.
"Calm down!?"
"Thalia, can you take James to the Quidditch Pitch and bury him in the ground or something? He's giving me a headache." Eloise smirked at her best friend as her boyfriend chuckled into her neck,
"My own sister!" James sounded like he was about to cry so Thalia wrapped her arms around his waist,
"It's ok, Jamie."
"Thank you, Thals. At least someone cares about me."
"I'm sure it will be lovely and warm buried underground."
