Night Sky (Harry Styles)

15. lonely

CHAPTER 15: LONELY

Monday, May, 29th 2017 - San Francisco, California

I have never been to San Francisco but it's big. Tall buildings are rising towards the sky. Cars are filling the streets and the pavements are full of pedestrians. I feel lost without anyone to guide me through this mess. I'd love to call someone to pick me up but I left my phone in Harry's car. All I have are my cigarettes and a ridiculous amount of five dollars.

Without a clue where I am or where to go, I turn into a side street that is less busy than the main pavement. Lost, I lean against the building behind me and slowly slide down until I sit on the warm pavement.

The sun is still shining but it seems like it is losing its strength because the light gets weaker but more golden with every second. It must be around 7pm if the sun is already going down. And I'm here somewhere in the middle of San Francisco.

A group of young men are coming closer just when I'm about to light my cigarette. The guy in the front whistles and I roll my eyes. Creepy old men catcalling are the worst, thinking they could gain anything from making disgusting comments. Ignoring them I take a deep drag and let the smoke fill my lungs. I can't tell why this disgusting smoke that is destroying my lungs makes me feel so calm. Fuck, I hate smoking but it's the only thing calming me down right now.

"Damn, Estelle! Are you out of your fucking mind?" I hear Sam yell. My head shoots to the right and I see Sam approaching me as a sigh of relief escapes his mouth. Harry and Jess are next to jog around the corner, then Dylan, then Beth.

"Why would you just take off?" Sam says and kneels down in front of me.

"Told you she'd be okay." Beth mumbles

"You can't just leave without telling me where you're going. San Francisco is a big city—"

"I'm fine."

I don't wanna hear anything anymore. I wanna go home and never see Sam or Harry again. Sam keeps reminding me why I never wanted to date in the first place and Harry is making me question why I ever started dating Sam. I always thought Sam was a little too overprotective until I started having heart-to-heart talks with Harry and noticed you can care for someone without being suffocating.

Jessica puts everything into her relationship with Harry. She is so fond of him and so sure he is Mr. Right. I admire how she fearlessly offers her heart to someone that could easily break it, if he wanted to. And she's always done this. She has always been so ready to declare her feelings, never letting rejection hold her back. Jess would cry for a couple days after being rejected but once a new potential love interest entered her life, she was ready to fall head over heels all over again.

I like to keep my heart and not give it to anyone. For a while I thought I offered mine to Sam but when I slept with Harry, I realized that I had kept it to myself all along and just fooled myself, and Sam.

"I need new cigarettes. Mine are almost empty." I tell them and stand up, knocking off the dust of my bottom.

"Is that all you have to say to me? You don't want to explain yourself? Say sorry?"

"Oh my God, I was angry and I walked five minutes. That's it."

"You left without letting us know where you're going! Your phone is still in Harry's car! Why would you just leave?" Sam yells at me. I hate how he is treating me like a child.

"You want an explanation? Okay, here you have it: I wanted to fucking get away from you! Just stop treating me like a child all the time! I don't have to constantly tell you where I'm going or what I'm doing or who I'm hanging out with." I yell back at him, not caring about the fact that the others witness our fight. I move to pass Sam but he stops me by grabbing my arm. His grip is tight.