Toot it & Boot it 2: The Takeover

15

Kaysia

I dreaded the whole flight to Miami. Lord knows I didn't want it to end for me and him but enough is enough. As much as I hate to admit it Kema was right. This is not me, the old me wouldn't even dealt with that shit. I watch the clouds float pass my window each one reminding me of a memory I wished to forget. The private jet landed at the crack of dawn. The jetlag made my body feel heavy. I grabbed my suitcase then followed everyone outside. Vice had cars here to pick us up , our stuff was taken from us to get put in the trunks. We all piled inside then closed the doors behind us.

" Why didn't you tell me you was going through that " I heard vice say from across me. I fondled with my fingers to ashamed to even look up.

" It was my marriage you know? I was trying to do the right thing and stick it out for as long as I could." I let out a shaky breath, holding in my tears.

" You can only fight for something if he was willing to fight for it with you"

I let his words hang in the air. The trip was silent just as the plane ride. The familiar houses on my street came into view. A small weight lifted off my shoulder just to have the comfort to be home. We pulled to a stop. Not a few seconds later the door was being pulled open, the gentleman in the suit helped me out. While another grabbed my bags. " One of my guys staying to watch out for you just incase " Vice said to me.

I shrugged my shoulders at him. I no longer cared right now for the moment. I walked up to my home then unlocked my doors. They swung open inviting me inside. For now this is all I got. Im glad I didn't take Kaz money to use for my stuff while he was gone. Everything here was brought with my hard earned work. I went and sat in the living room just to think. I know its not healthy. But im thinking of a plan for my future with out him.

I woke up the next morning with the sun beating down my face. My clothes from yesterday stuck to my body from sweat. Clearing my throat I got up to get fresh for the day. I felt way better than what I did. Maybe sleep was the key. New day. New beginnings. I refuse to let anything ruin my mood.

After getting dressed I found my self sitting at my kitchen Island, with my face in my phone hovering over his contact name. Should I unblock him? Should I call? A part of me wanted to. A part of me wanted to instantly forgive him for everything. & Maybe that's the key. Forgive him, not for his sake but for mine.

It was time for me to let go and let god have his way. I am a strong woman. I came too far to let this relationship be the death of me so from here on out its about me. Not how he would feel. Not about this marriage. Just me.

How can I wake up feeling the total opposite of how I felt 12 hours ago? I don't know. I do know that things aren't going to change unless I change them so that's what im doing what I want to do. Matter of fact. I clicked off his contact , then scrolled down to Gray's . I owe him an apology. Its not up to him to be honest. He owes me no loyalty. I clicked call.

The phone rung for about 5 seconds before he picked up. " Kaysia?"

" Hey, um you busy? " I asked hitting my nails on the bar.

" No , no you okay? "

" Yeah, I shouldn't have got mad at you the other day. Kaz has always been up to something. It wasn't right for me to harass you for answers. and bring you into it - "

" No kaysia im sorry. As your friend I should've said something to you. When you asked I should've said something. " He rushed out in one breath.

I put my head in my hand. " Have he called you?" I asked referring to kaz.

" Yeah and I heard. He was wrong, I told him that. " He got silent " Do you want to know?"

Do I want to know? Am I ready? " Y-yes "

He filled me in. He told me how he walked into one of the last meetings they had. How the room smelled like sex. My heart dropped. Gray asked me did I want him to continue. As much as this was hurting me. I wanted to know. He explained to me when he put two & two together. He begged kaz to tell me. Being that he knew how much I was working to get him home , while handling his business. A pang of annoyance, hurt, jealousy hit me hard. That day of court when I questioned him , he said he knew. Once I left. He told kaz that I was catching on. That he needed to tell me. but we all knew how that went though. Gray apologized over and over. I promised him all was forgiven. I told him I would talk to him later. he said he had more news. Something that he hated that I would find out this way. but I needed to know. The last time they had sex. Kaz told him It was without a condom. That it was a possibility that she is pregnant.

I hung up the phone. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to hold it together. Everytime I tell myself ill be okay. Its something new! My cries were loud. I didn't care if anyone saw or heard me at this moment. I was hurt. So hurt that I gave my life to this nigga for 2 years. TWO YEARS. Dealing with his bullshit over & over & over. Is this gods way of punishing me? I repented to me sins. Yet im still going through hell.

My legs felt heavy as I got off the stool and made my way around the bar to the cabinets. I opened each one. I got the last one. I found what I was looking for. The knife was sharp as I held it up in front of me. I cant take the pain anymore. The humiliation! The lies! The beatings. None of it. I held the knife to my wrist cutting myself with one slow motion. I hissed in pain as it stung. No amount of pain would amount to how much I felt inside. The blood oozed out quickly . I did the other wrist just the same as the last. Blood was now on my white tiles. Marking its territory. I dropped the knife and screamed once I realized what I had done. My vision doubled while I took in my art I did to myself. I could here shuffling of feet from in the living room. but my body gave out as the shouts of my name got closer to the kitchen.