COMING HOME

Chapter 12

~~If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
                                   James 1:5(NKJV)~~

Christopher's eyes moved in scattered ways making efforts to focus as he stared into deep black emptiness. 32°F was sending murderous thin lines that absorbed into thick layer of clothing straight into his thoracic. Few backward steps was a sign of cowardice so he spread his legs a little further accepting every pang.

'This is so stupid!' Deep lines formed at the front of his head. He couldn't continue standing there so he stepped back from the window moving quickly to his bed post.

The Bible in his hand suddenly felt weighty for him to hold. He dumped it on the table by the side of his bed, pulled the cover cloth off the bed and laid carefully on it with his hands behind his head.

He wanted to call Tobi, she might be awake because she was a also late sleeper. She'd been very patient with him for the past one month and made severe attempts to understand his behaving in an unusual way. He gave her enough reasons to be fed up being the person that'd been through the most recently but she gave him lots of reasons to be hopeful. Thank God his friends didn't tell her about his obsession with her.

Their exams were fast approaching, in a matter of weeks they'd be in their second semester and he didn't want to end the semester without resolving his issues. He would have turned to God for help but he wasn't getting much response from that area either so he stopped asking, finding it difficult to wake up in the early hours of the morning and bend his knees in submission.

It wasn't always easy to do God's will. God being God and he being man was enough reason for God to understand that some tasks were more difficult to do. The instructions he heard were beginning to sound questionable.

His eyelids closed and he tried to picture his mother's face. If she'd been alive she'd have had a good answer for him. Even now that she was dead, he guessed her answer to his problem would have been to keep trusting God.

Her last days on earth had been hell for him and his father. No feeling is worse than seeing a person you love suffer especially when doctors cannot explain the reason for the sickness.
He watched his mother waste slowly in excruciation, going from one treatment to another. Intern doctors soon found her bed space homely and she became a living cadaver but in all of that, not once had she made a sign of protest or complaint. The memory he remembered tore his heart in two. He reminisced going straight to the hospital after school without consent from his dad and sneaking into her ward to see her through the transparent door. His decision to feed his curiosity was still a regret till date. After seeing the dead skin the doctors peeled off her legs without much use of medical equipment, the blood that gushed out from a vein in her right leg and her swollen stomach, he'd had a difficult time approaching her on the days he came for visits. With all the pain and agony, it didn't stop the wide and bright ear to ear smile she always had for everyone.

Tobi possessed many similar traits to his mother. She was thick-skinned, beautiful, resilient and of an understanding personality. On the days he was lenient with his thoughts, he'd let his mind roam to forbidden places and imagine himself kissing her.

He released the hand closest to his table and stretched to get his Bible. Face to face with his Bible but without will to read or strength to pray. Whoever said Christianity was easy didn't have full comprehension of what they were saying. He knew the life of pleasure he could be accustomed to by now but he'd chosen not to because, pleasure and self-indulgence never brought fulfillment. After the temporary ecstasy passes, you'd be left just as empty as you were before.

He opened his Bible and scrolled until he found what he was looking for. 'For God so love the world, that He gave His only begotten Son and that whoever believed in His name would not perish but have everlasting life.' He closed the Bible and turned to face the wall. 'I need you now more than ever before, you said you wouldn't leave me nor forsake me. I need to know you're here with me guiding me in all ways. Please God, please.' The words poured out of his mouth with thin breath.
Two minutes later and he was already tired. He threw his legs over the bed to the floor to be in an upright position.

Tobi was coming to the apartment later this morning and he didn't want her to meet him here. He ran to shower, returned with drops of water making a trail behind him, pounced in his clothes wearing his shirt and trousers simultaneously.

Opening his room door, he walked into the living room and stood to face to face with Sean.

'Guy, where you dey go this morning?' Christopher hid his surprise when he saw the normally scattered room in a clean and arranged way. He scoffed knowing that the moment Tobi was gone, it'd return to its original state.

'I'm going to read.'

'Why, when did you start reading outside?'

'Today. I and Lizzy will read at the faculty of law till evening.' 

'What's wrong with you man?' Sammy  strolled towards him with a frying spoon in his hand and a rag on his shoulder. 'Why do you want to read there, don't you normally read with us? You have been acting really strangely since Tobi came back to school.'

'I've been myself!' Chris countered with his set jaw.

'That's not true. At first I thought your dad might have been sick again but I realized you tell us when he's sick. This isn't about me or Sean either, it's about you and your nasty behaviour.'

Sean quickened his steps to where they were to stand in their middle and stop them from getting closer. 'Whoa, whoa, whoa! I don't think we should discuss this now, Tobi will soon come and it will not make sense to see you two fighting. Abeg, make una calm down.'

Sammy shifted back so that the hand that Sean put on his chest would drop. 'You're right. Don't forget Christopher,' He said pointing his index finger at Chris. 'That she's our friend and know that I'm here to mess you up if you don't stop your uncultured behavior. She's a good person, don't spoil your long term friendship because of your inability to control yourself man. You're not a child...!'

'Sammy! That's enough!' Sean dragged the rag from Sammy's shoulder, folded it into a ball and threw it on the floor.

'It's isn't,' Sammy faced Sean with a strain in his voice. 'You act like nothing is annoying you whereas I know you want to beat the crap out of him. Tobi needs us, we can't have someone with real issues and a boy that craves attention in one group.'

'Okay Sammy, let it be. I'll hold onto wanting to pick a fight with him until he does something that's going to hurt Tobi. For now, let him be a baby and sulk.' He pulled Sammy's arm and dragged him to the kitchen.

His friends were right but he couldn't bring himself to accept the strong scrutiny. His hands curled into a fist and he squeezed them until thick green and red veins showed. His muscles tensed, he should have handled his feelings for Tobi a long time ago instead of letting it destroy his friendships. He released the tight grip of his hands and heaved. After regaining some composure, he took his bag and left.