Heartbreak Weather | ✓

♡༉ t.

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I kept blaming myself.

I kept blaming myself for misreading the signs. Even though it was absolutely unlike me - I didn't like being the wrong one. I was hardly ever wrong about these things and even if it sounded cocky, I did a great deal of thinking before saying or doing anything like that, it was just in my nature.

Even though I knew that I wasn't wrong, I kept telling myself that I was wrong.

Seeing you happy with Amelia made me happy - but the other part of me loathed it. Loathed how she could just get your love or whatever feeling it was, without having to go through the emotional rollercoaster - I had to step in, only to be barred from your love at the end.

Words that seemed to flow freely when it came to you, the words that kept conversations going on days and nights with you - seemed to dry up at the tip of my tongue.

I could almost taste the heartbreak, with the little tinge of disappointment and anger.

Kaleb and I were growing apart, but I tried hard to hold onto the seams anyway. I couldn't lose him again. I couldn't lose him again because I was too busy drowning in the pool of expectations you left me in, again.

Perhaps you did all of it unintentionally, because as far as I knew you, you would never do any such thing intentionally.

Your feelings were always fleeting around - you told me yourself that you were, at times, confused about your feelings. About what you wanted. You couldn't choose.

Your feelings were like fireflies, fleeting around, couldn't be caught or settled easily. But I was able to catch one, and it lightened up my darkness. Too bad it slipped out of my hands before the darkness disappeared.

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