Ch. 43 IDFC...

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A/N: The song in this chapter is called IDFC and it's by Blackbear. If you've never heard it before I highly recommend giving it a listen when getting to the part in this chapter. I've attached it below in the story. Really helps you feel the interaction in this chapter. Thank you my lovelies ❤️

Tsukki walks through your doorway and into your living room area to find you sitting on your couch wrapped up in a blanket as if to protect yourself from the world. Brief memories flash through his mind, all the moments you had together here in this place. You refuse to look at him, instead staring down at your own hands nervously fiddling your fingers in your lap. Tsukki hesitates a moment then after steeling himself to your possible rejection he walks over, kneeling down in front of you. His hands reach for the headphones that so often adorn his neck. He lifts them off of himself pausing for a moment only to say "I've never been good with words when it comes to expressing my feelings so I hope..." He pauses taking a deep breath. "I hope this will help you understand. But.... If after you listen... you never want anything to do with me again. I'll respect that and leave you alone."

With a brief nod of acknowledgment to his words, he reaches forward to rest his headphones gently over your ears. He slowly reaches down to his phone and with nervous hesitation, presses play....

For a moment you spare a glance to look at Tsukki, his head is down, patiently waiting...

Tell me pretty lies
Look me in the face
Tell me that you love me
Even if it's fake
'Cause I don't fucking care, at all

'Sounds about right... has he ever really cared about me... the way I cared for him'
You close your eyes continuing to listen...

You've been out all night
I don't know where you've been
You're slurring all your words
Not making any sense
But I don't fucking care, at all

'Why would you, it's not like I ever meant anything to you... not like you meant to me'
You sigh but continue to listen.

'Cause I have hella feelings for you
I act like I don't fucking care
Like they ain't even there
'Cause I have hella feelings for you
I act like I don't fucking care
'Cause I'm so fucking scared

'Cause I have hella feelings for youI act like I don't fucking careLike they ain't even there'Cause I have hella feelings for youI act like I don't fucking care'Cause I'm so fucking scared

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I'm only a fool for you
And maybe you're too good for me
I'm only a fool for you
But I don't fucking care, at all, oh

Tsukki takes this moment to risk a glance at your face, hoping to read your emotions. When he sees your eyes closed, tears streaming down your face, he panics thinking he's hurt you more. He goes to reach for the headphones not wanting to hurt you anymore than he already has, only to have your hands rest upon his, preventing him from removing the headphones.

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