Find Me in Philadelphia //nolan patrick

43. Burning

My alarm goes off promptly at 8 am and I hit snooze, but I don't fall back asleep. I wake up with my legs tangled with Nolan's and his head tucked under my neck. After coming out of sleep mode, I remember everything that happened the night before.

I was trashed. TK and I got totally wasted and then I called Nolan, demanding he tell me that he misses me. Then he came over, held my hair back while I threw up, and I made him sleep in the same bed as me. Oh and I was also begging to have sex with him. Geez, Sam.

I don't know what's more painful- the fact that I was so pathetic last night or the headache I have right now. Either way, I don't know how Nolan's gonna feel waking up this close to me, so I decide that I should try to separate myself as quickly and quietly as possible.

As soon I move my legs a bit, his arms tighten around my back and his head moves lower down my neck. If I thought I couldn't move before, I definitely can't move now. I drop my hands to the mattress in defeat.

Usually, I would be nothing but happy to be in this position with him. Waking up tangled up with his body, his unconscious self pulling me closer, it would all make my heart flutter. It still does, but I know it'll be different when he wakes up. We aren't together.

If we were together, I would run my fingers through his hair, maybe lightly drag my nails over his shoulders or down his back. But I don't do any of those things.

When Nolan starts to stir, I freeze. I don't know how I'm feeling- maybe nervous? I don't want him to be mad at me for us sleeping in the same bed.

He lifts his head a bit, just enough to swivel around and come eye level with me. His eyes are squinting in the bright sunlight coming in. He rubs his eyes, and uses a hand to push himself off me.

"Sorry," he apologizes as he unwraps his legs from mine and moves a good foot away. His morning voice is on full display.

"It's okay," I respond quietly. He yawns a few times, and then sits up, searching for his phone. I follow in sitting up, not knowing what else to do. With a quick glance at his phone, he gets out of the bed, leaving it cold and unwelcome. He doesn't even look at me as he goes into the bathroom.

I shouldn't be surprised but I am a little bit. I keep having to remind myself that he we aren't together. He probably just feels awkward since last night I kinda forced him to act like my boyfriend.

I use my phone camera as a mirror to fix my hair as best I can. I have a class at 9:30 but I decide to skip it. I feel disgusting and need a shower, a nap, and an aspirin.

"Hey, do you need a ride? Do you have a class?" Nolan asks abruptly, head sticking out of the bathroom. I clear my throat.

"I- I don't have class til later. I can just catch a subway," I stutter. 

He shrugs. "It's not a big deal for me to drive you. Besides, I kinda think we should talk. You know... about everything."

Right... about everything.

"O-okay," I squeak out. "Okay," he agrees, fingers tapping on the doorframe of the bathroom. "I'm just gonna go... check on Teeks," he says and leaves the room, making less eye contact than he even did last night.

I let out a puff of air before heading into the bathroom, rummaging through the cabinets for some aspirin. I find some, and pop three of the pills. As I look at myself in the mirror, I take a few deep breaths. I need to calm down before talking to Nolan, because I want to get back together. I don't want to be an emotional mess.

Travis is still asleep, and Nolan and I sneak out quietly. "Are you feeling okay?" He asks when we're halfway down the hallway, almost to the elevator.