I Loved You Before I Met You

29

I stare at Lauren for a few seconds. I could never be mad at her or not forgive her for anything. I care about her too much and would literally do anything for her. "I forgive you too but you have nothing to be sorry for. I deserved your reaction if not worse than that. I've never done anything like that before and I am ashamed of myself and I know my mom would be ashamed of me. I have disappointed her too. Again, I'm sorry for putting you in that situation." I stand from my stool pulling my hands away from Lauren and wrap her in a quick hug then release her and sit back down before she can react.

"So, back to the divorce thing. Once it is done that means you will not be married anymore and you will not be married to my so-called... father. You also will not be my... umm... stepmom even though I have never considered you as a stepmom." Lauren looks a little hurt by what I said and looks down. So I grab her face with both hands and raise her head back up to look at me. I release her face and slightly smile at her.

"I don't mean that in a bad way Lauren. You truly make an awesome mom and if I didn't have such strong feelings for you and wasn't so attracted to you, then you would be my choice as a stepmom. I'm just so attracted to you I can't think of you that way. Please don't think I was being mean by saying that because I wasn't."

Lauren takes a deep breath "I understand, that just caught me off guard I guess. All that you said may be true but I'm still your principal and still too old for you and it's just... wrong. It's so wrong. Even if our situation was different, nothing would happen between us. I'm not the type for one night stands and I wouldn't want to be just another one for you to add to the list of females you... fucked. I'm not the type of person to just mess around. I like to date and have a relationship."

I lean forward and take Lauren's hands in mine. "Look Lauren, I meant what I said earlier about never feeling this way for anyone before. Just being around you does things to me that's kind of hard to explain. You make me feel things I've never felt before. I always get these butterflies in my stomach and my heart races when I'm around you or even just look at you. And when we touch I get a warm tingling feeling all over. Don't even get me started on the throbbing sensation between my legs." Her eyes go wide and she swallows hard.

I take a breath "you are not too old so don't even think that. Age is just a number and you are a lot younger than Mike so you can't really use the age excuse. You are perfect and beautiful and will only get more beautiful with age. You are so addicting, like a drug or coffee and it makes me always want more of you. You are my sunshine when it's raining, my light in darkness and my happiness when I'm sad. You Lauren, are everything I have been waiting for."

Lauren stares at me and opens her mouth then closes it so I continue to talk. "I want you, all of you and I want you to have... all of me. I want a relationship with you and not just as friends. I want an actual relationship as a couple and I've never wanted that before. I don't want a one night stand and you're not just another one to add to a list. I don't want that anymore and I don't care if we have to hide, I just want... you."

Lauren just stares at me at a loss for words. I take a deep breath before continuing "Lauren, since moving here I haven't messed with another female, well except for stupidly kissing Ms. Smith but that was because I was trying to not think about you. I want you! I don't want just sex with you, I want full on intimacy and everything that comes with it; I want it all but... only with you. It actually scares me because I've never felt like this before." I want to tell her I am in love with her because I'm sure that's what I'm feeling. But I can't add that to everything else I just told her and I need to know for sure that's what I am feeling. Plus she needs time to process everything.

Lauren rubs her hands over her face and sighs. I can tell she is trying to process everything I just said but I would love to know what's going through her beautiful mind. She lowers her head but I can still see a few tears escape her eyes and roll down her cheeks. Before she has a chance to wipe them away, I grab her wrist and stop her. I slowly place my fingers under her chin to raise her head back up. I cup her face with both my hands and gently wipe her tears away with my thumbs.

Still holding her face I ask "Lauren what's wrong?" Lauren looks me in my eyes and says "Kyler... you don't know how much what you just said means to me. It touches my heart and makes me..." She stops talking and shakes her head and closes her eyes so I ask "makes you what?" She shakes her head and clears her throat. "It doesn't matter, it's... nothing, nothing. Given both of our situations you know nothing can happen between us. I'm sorry, I really am but that's just the way it has to be."

"What about once I graduate? Would you give us a chance then?" I look into Lauren's blue eyes waiting on her answer. I can see all kinds of emotions cross her face and her eyes. Finally shaking her head she says, "Kyler, it just can't happen. It's wrong in so many ways and you know that. You would be my former student and former step daughter and that would not look good. It would seem like things happened between us while you were still in school and while I was still married to your father. Plus I could lose my job, I'm sorry."

~~~A/N~~~

Thank you to everyone who as taken the time to read the story so far. Please feel free to comment and let me know what you all think. This is my first story but I'm trying to make it a good one. Thanks again and happy, happy reading!

~Eden Shay