chapter 20

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      Jax pov.   

Sades had been in the hospital as they where trying to save the baby it was to much stress . I patted my foot repeatedly on the hospital floor .

        I sat in between Remington and Lucas . Lucas and Remington would occasionally shoot glares and give snide comments to each other but I sat there . I tried to calm the fear that something happened to her or the baby .

       "Stop glaring at me"

        Remingtons voice was sharp and they were both acting childish . I stood up looking at the both of them . "Listen Sades is getting surgery done right now as we speak and when she wakes up you both better get control of your childish behavior because she dosent need stress and for God damn sakes shut the hell up" .

        I walked out of the hospital pulling out a cigarette and smoking it . I starred at the clouds . Twommoro I had court with Wendy that bitch is trying to take my kid .

          Abel begs every night that I don't let him go back to her . In trying my hardest but being in a gang never made this job easier .

        "She talked about you all the time you know" . I looked at Lucas and then continued starring at the clouds . "Who" I was curious on who he was talking about but I had an idea .

       "Sades she always talked about you Remington and the boys . When she wasn't beating my ass or yelling at me or throwing up and complaining she's hungry . The way she talked about you made her smile I know you dont see it just yet but she's falling for you Jaxon and when she wakes up you need to make the decision of falling for her or not instead of making her think you are" .

       I sighed he really spoke the truth i hated it . I could help but wonder though if she really was falling for me .

       I turned to him flicking my cigarette and puffing in more before releasing the smoke . "I know I need to decided but I lost something very important to me and if I start loving Sades I just feel that she will be mad that loving someone else would make her mad . All I want to do is do whats right for my family but the club and Wendy all of it makes it difficult . Hell Abel beats kids up because he's seen me do it and thinks its ok" .

        Lucas looked at me as I took another puff of my cigarette looking at the sky once more . "Let Sades in your life she will change it I can promise that . As for whoever you lost all they want is to see you happy and if you can make that happen then do it if you smile they will smile back" .

          I turned to Lucas taking in his words . "You know your not as bad as I thought" . He smiled "well I'm never what most expect" .

        I threw my cigarette in the ground and put it out before me and Lucas went inside .

        "There you are she is up come on" Remingtons voice was nervous and scared but happy . We followed him to Sades room but a doctor stopped us .

           "Are you here for Sades Marie Tukwila" . We nodded she gave a warm and calming smile .

        "Im her doctor Mrs.Oryan and let me just say Sades is very strong" . I smiled knowing how strong sades was . Before she continued on with what she was saying . "She lost alot of blood and we knew she was pregnant but when we went to look for the baby we couldn't find a heartbeat" .

         My smile suddenly faded and the doctor stopped for a second before I nodded signaling her to continue . "So we didn't focus on the baby for all we  knew it was gone instead we focused on Sades .

       We had to remove the child from her or it would kill her so we checked for a heartbeat one last time and we found it . This continued to happen the child's heart would skip beats for seconds now it hasn't fully developed but if this continues to happen we can only assume he or she will come out with some sort of birth defect" . This reminded me of Able I was beginning to think it wasn't the drugs that caused this it was me .

           "Have you told her" Remington asked . The doctor gave a sad nod no "we figured having someone there when we told her the news was the best so she didn't freak out the baby is already under stress and dosent need more so when you get in there tell her aplpood things just until the baby is calmed down

        Well that was alot to take in but soon we all gained the courage and walked onto Sades room where she sat up holding the remote flipping through channels .

         She threw the remote groaning in frustration . "Well darling if that's how you treat someone when you get mad id hate to get on your bad side" . I held my arms open and smiled she smiled running to me and we both held eachother in one of the biggest hugs . I could stay like that forever .

         She was doing pretty good after the surgery I noticed the small bump and it made me smile . She noticed and look deep into my eyes before smiling .

      "Do you want to feel" I nodded and she took my hand leading me to the baby bump . She put my hand on her stomach softly .

         I touched her bump it felt amazing it was almost like I was in another world this always happened with Able I felt like I saw his whole future with Thomas I felt one of the most stringent connections and with this one I felt in a difgrent world like the baby was going to be the boss of me and not the other way around .

          I smiled bigger than I have in months . Sades smiled "what am I supposed to say" . I was nervous so I just asked Sades I felt my child could hear everything even of he or she is unborn .

         She chuckled a simple hello would of sufficed . I rolled my eyes as she giggled . I missed it I missed ssing her smile and laugh it always warmed my heart I knew right then in there I loved Sades I was in love with Sades and I would do anything and everything to keep her happy .

          Hey guys sorry its been awhile the last chapter I mentioned the follow and like thing and if you could do that it would make me happy I love each and every one of you be happy xoxo kenzie😘❤

       

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