Sunflower Love

❁~---

I decided to skip the party.

I think people really underestimate the harsh reality that those of us who 'didn't date in high school' kind of people have to face when it comes to things like going to parties. Or even trying to navigate through our first encounters with flirting, asking someone out, or even downloading a dating app.

It's hard. I wish it was easy. I wish I had experience with things like this. But I'm so out of touch with that part of life. High school relationships at least gave you a shove and allowed you to experiment. I'm a virgin at the age of 24. Like with a capital V. Never been on a date, kissed, danced with someone romantically; I'm pathetic. Or at least that is how I feel when other girls like Julianna talk about me when they think I'm not listening.

How can girls be so hot and cold to one another?

She has so much to say about me to someone on the phone, but to my face she's oh so nice. Note the sarcasm. At the end of the day, half the things she says to my face are like backwards compliments anyways.

Shouldn't girls want to help each other out? Isn't the common enemy here, men?

My phone buzzes, pulling me from my thoughts. I heave a sigh and push myself to the edge of the couch in order to grab my phone from the coffee table. Julianna's name pops up along with a very wordy text about where I am and how I should be there.

Blah Blah Blah

I roll my eyes, going to put my phone down but stop as it buzzes again. I bring it back and see another message, only this time it is from Liam. His is definitely shorter than Julianna's, seeing as it is a single word and I feel my chest clench around his use of our word.

Cherry

"Ya know..." Liam placed his lunch down beside me along with his camera bag, "You should go to some parties with me."

I stop my analysis of my pictures to raise an eyebrow at him, "Why?"

He shrugs, "I think it'll help you make friends and get out of this shy mask you've developed. I think going to a party will help you so much in the long run."

I narrow my eyes at him and give it a thought, but shake my head in the end as I turn my attention back to my pictures.

A small pinch of pain on my elbow causes me to yelp. I throw a glare his way, but a smirk is playing at the edge of his lips. He leans in, causing me to lean away. "I wouldn't leave your side. You can be introduced to my friends and potentially people outside my group."

Liam's eyes pierce into mine, but flicker down when I bite my lip. I sigh which gives him the impression that he's won. He pulls back and takes a bite out of his salad, the crunch coming out quite loud as silence falls over us.

"I don't think it is a good idea..." I try to think of a way to list out my thoughts without sounding like I was completely and utterly afraid of everything that came with parties from drinking around strangers to potentially losing Liam and finally the thought that everyone there is strangers. That thought causes my brain to malfunction and a million more things piled on causing my hands to clam up and my heart to pound in my ears.

"How about we only go for a little? We walk in, do a sweep. Heck, we can even make up a safe word which is like 'send help now!' or like 'I need to leave!' If at any time you feel like you need to leave you say the word and we just book it right out of that place. How about that?" He is watching me, but munching quite slopily on his salad. I watch as he stabs a cherry tomato and then cringes at it before holding it out to me.

I sigh again, but this time it is actually in defeat. "Cherry." I say simply as I wrap my lips around the tomato and pull it off the fork. Liam looks like he is in a daze for a second but shakes his head as the word hits him. He raises an eyebrow at me, but a smile slowly makes its way across his face, "Cherry." He says simply in agreement before going back to eating his salad, leaving me to dread the next time a party comes up.

I remember I went to two parties after that and both times I had tried so hard to hold out on saying the word, but those parties were probably the most panicked I had felt in a while. The first one, we didn't even manage a full sweep before Liam and I were separated because a guy had grabbed him to talk while I wasn't paying attention. I kept walking and by the time I realized he wasn't at my side, oh boy, I found the bathroom and locked myself within it enjoying my own version of Michael in the Bathroom. No one came by singing along to Whitney, no one knocked, and Liam didn't even text me.

I waited an extra five minutes just to see if he'd even notice or care, but when I realized he wasn't going to reach out to me first, I sent the cherry emoji and made my way from the bathroom to the front door. Before I knew it, I was already at my dorm and laying face first in my bed. My phone buzzed and I looked to see it was Liam asking me where I had gone off to and I sighed, sending a quick text that I had gone back to my dorm and that he could stay.

He showed up about an hour later, with ice cream and a sheepish smile. But I didn't miss the new hickey on his neck or the underwear that peeked from his pocket.

The second party lasted a little longer but it wasn't thanks to Liam. It was because of this guy named Colt who was head of the chess club and the robotic engineering program. He and some other guys had brought their robots and were playing chess with them. I know that this sounds weird, but I was so enthralled that an hour and a half went by without me even thinking I was at a party. Liam was the one who pulled the cherry card and I was dragged away.

Now he is pulling the cherry card again, only this is a party that Julianna set up and I wasn't even in attendance. Why did he have to use our safe word? More importantly, why did I feel like I had to come save him? He practically abandoned me at the first party and ruined the second one for me.

I bit my lip as I pondered over what to do.

Me: I'm not at the party.

Liam: Cherry. Cherry. Cherry.

Liam: Are you really not going to save me?

Me: Isn't this kind of your wedding party kind of thing?

Liam: c h e r r y

I sighed as I ran a hand over my face trying to wipe off all of this weight that suddenly hit me. Why was he being like this? Obviously I didn't want to go. Couldn't he simply respect that?

What if he really needed my help though?

All of his friends and family were there though, they could save him. I was not to be guilt tripped into going to this party. I will not.

--❁--

enjoy.

xoxo,
happiness