The mafia I married

42

Well what do I do now. I don't want to talk to Ezra and especially not when I am drunk. I open the window I stand in front of and look down. I could make it. I think. If I land on my feet it will be just fine.

"Are you seriously going to jump?" Ezra says looking at me concerned. This is so embarrassing. I close the window and take a few steps away from it. "No I were just... you know...looking down" this is so dumb. Why am I even still here. "Alright I have to go now" I say grabbing my bag from the floor.

He stops me as I try to pass by. Fuck. His touch feels so good I can't focus. I close my eyes for a second. "Don't touch me" I say as he moves his hand away.

"Sorry, you are just very drunk and I don't want you to go home by yourself" he says. Like he would care. If he did care about me in the first place he would've never done any of this to us. "You really are a piece of shit" I say as he nods. Well I'm happy he knows it too.

"I really am" he agrees.

"Yes, so I'm going home" I say.

"Amelia please you don't even have shoes on. I promise to get you home as soon as you sober up" he says. I sigh.

I ignore everything he says and decide to call Alex. Great now he doesn't pick up. I get frustrated and dizzy. So I take a seat on the small couch in the corner. As I just try to breathe and think.

"Im going to get you some food and water from downstairs, wait here" he says. Im so mad at myself. I really need to find shoes and leave.

As Ezra is downstairs I make my way around the house. I have so many memories here and it's all coming back to me. I hate it. It reminds me of how happy I was before all of this. I open the door to what used to be our bedroom.

It looks exactly the same as the day I left. Has he not entered this room since then?
Even my perfume is on the table I left it at. What the hell. I don't understand anything.

"What are you doing?" Ezra asks looking at me from behind. I turn to look at him. "Have you not been in here?" I ask giving Ezra a confused look. He looks down on the plate with food to avoid the question. "Amelia you need to eat" he says walking back the hall.
I follow him trying to understand this. He hands me the plate. "I don't want the god damn plate Ezra" I snap. He puts it down a table and looks back at me.

"Why haven't you been in our..." wrong so wrong. "Your room. You haven't touched anything since I left" I say knowing I'm right. I remember everything from that day. He hesitates when saying "I just couldn't"

What does that mean. So all this time he cared for me but cheated on me? how does that make any sense.
"I don't get it you act like you care then bam, you hurt me again" I say trying to hold myself together.

"Trust me I never wanted this, and it is all my fault because I couldn't kill him" he says. What is he saying?

"What are you talking about?" I say because I am very confused right now. I don't know if it is the alcohol or if he just doesn't know how to explain things.
"My dad forced me to divorce you Amelia. He was going to kill you and fuck I was too weak to hurt him" he says clenching his jaw in anger.
"What?" I say in shock. So he never wanted to do this? It was his father all along. But even if it was him we could have found a way if he had just told me.

"We could have found a way! we were so happy Ezra" I say now a tear rolling down my cheek. I wipe it away fast.

"I was scared, I couldn't let anything happen to you. You are all I have" he says and I can see the pain in his eyes. "I can't sleep in our room because it reminds me of you. All I see is you. Your scent is everywhere. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy because you pop up everywhere." He says trying to hold himself together.

I don't know what to say. "Where is your dad?" Is the first thing I ask. I have so many questions. "He's sick, the doctors say he's not going to get better" he says unsure of what he is feeling. "He is too weak to do anything, he can't hurt you" Ezra says.

"Why now? Why did you decide to tell me all of this now" I ask. One part of me is saying it will all be fine if I stick with him. The other part says I will get hurt again and I'm so scared.

"Adan came running to me today, telling me Kai Admos was about to ask you to marry him, I couldn't stand it. It felt so fucking wrong imagining you loving someone else. You are the only woman I could ever love and I am totally all yours. I would go to the end of the fucking world for you" he says so genuine. Gosh why couldn't he just tell me to fuck off. This would be so much easier.

"I don't know what to say" I say unsure. This is all so much. I've tried to push him away for so long and now he tells me he never wanted to hurt me like this.   "If you tell me to go I will i promise but god Amelia there is not a single day where I don't think about you, please tell me there is a chance" he says with so much hope in his eyes. Once he told me hope was a dumb thing. But it seems like it is everything he relies on now.

"I...I don't know" I say putting my palms on my face to cover my eyes.
He slowly walks closer to me. I keep my eyes closed as I feel warm arms hug me. I know nothing better than to just cry. "I'm so, so sorry I've done this to you Amelia" Ezra says holding me. This has caused me so much pain and still here I am.

"I want to go home" I say taking a step back from him. He nods. Ezra gives me a pair of slippers that is too big for me but it will do for now. We get in his car and he drives me to my home. It's weird that he knows the way. He parks outside and Alex storms out the house to get to us. "What the fuck is he doing here!" Alex yells from outside the car. "Thanks for the ride" I say then stepping out and grab onto Alex. "I will beat his ass, did he hurt you again" Alex asks. I know that he cares so much for me but I just need to be by myself right now. I have to think. "Alex please just get me inside" I say. My feet are probably so dirty from not having any shoes on the whole night.

Ezra drives off and we get inside.
"Are you fine" Alex asks calming down. I give him a tired nod. "I just need to sleep" I say going inside my room. I throw myself on my bed and lay there looking at the ceiling.

I know I shouldn't but I smile. And for the first time in a long time I feel whole again.

***

I've thought about it a lot. If I want to do this again. And maybe it all started wrong. Maybe Ezra and I should've met like normal people. I have decided to give him one last chance. But this time we will do this my way.

I grab my bag and text Ezra to meet me at the park. He replies fast and says he's on his way.

I wait at the park and spot his car from far. He parks it and walks towards me. A soft smile tugs at my lips making him relax a little. He takes a seat in front of me. "So you wanted to talk?" He says nervously.

"I've thought about it a lot, how we could ever move past what has happened" I pause to take a breath.
"I don't want to not have you in my life and I don't believe we ever got a chance to do anything normally, so this time we are doing this the right way" I say as he looks at me confused. I smile before putting my hand in the air for him to shake.

"Hi my name is Amelia Gonzales want to be my friend?" I say. He laughs to himself. "Really?" He asks and I nod.

He thinks about it for a moment then takes my hand. "Ezra Perez nice to meet you Amelia" he says.