Chapter 49) Loss

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A moment later, Carl exits the boiler room. His gun is still in his hand. His face is stone.

He walks back towards the outside. Y/N follows silently, holding his baby sister.

Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Hershel, Beth, and Maggie all stand around in the courtyard. They are talking about going back inside to find Carol, Lori, Y/N, and Carl.

All conversation stops when they hear the baby cry.

Rick looks up at Y/N. She has dried tear streaks down her face.

His face contorts as he looks for Lori. He tries to walk past her to enter the building but she holds her hand out. "Rick, don't." She whispers.

He looks at Carl and starts to cry.

He repeats "No." over and over again before collapsing into a sobbing ball on the floor.

Maggie and Glenn rush over to Y/N. Maggie takes the baby from her arms. Y/N feels arms wrap around her but doesn't look to see who they're from.

She just shuts her eyes and wishes all of this would go away.
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A few silent minutes pass. Rick is still on the floor. Carl stands beside him.

The others stand around, unsure of what to do.

Daryl walks up to Rick who is now sitting on his knees in the same spot. "Rick. Rick. You with me?" He waves his hand in front of the man to no avail.

Hershel looks at Maggie. "Let me see the baby."

She walks over to him.

Beth looks at the others. "Do we have anything to feed her?"

Daryl shakes his head.

"The good news is, she's healthy. But she needs formula or she won't survive." Hershel says.

"No way. Not her. We ain't losing anyone else. I'm going on a run." Daryl says tossing his crossbow over his shoulder.

Glenn nods. "I'll back you up."

He glances at Y/N. "You with me?"

She looks up. Her eyes are puffy. She nods slowly.

Y/N looks at Beth and Maggie. "Take care of them until I get back please..." She says, regarding the two kids and Rick.

Maggie nods. "Of course."

Beth does too. "We'll keep an eye on them."

Glenn and Y/N follow Daryl to one of the cars.

"There's a Piggly Wiggly on 85." Glenn says.

Y/N shakes her head. "Baby sections been cleared." They look at her with confusion.

"Lori asked me to keep an eye out. Haven't had much luck."

Daryl sighs. "Is there any place that hasn't been completely looted?"

Glenn pauses to think. "Me and Maggie saw signs for a shopping center just north of here."

Y/N looks down at her red-stained hands. "Yeah, but there's too much debris on the road. We can't get a car through that."

Daryl points at his bike. "I can take one of you."

Glenn steps forward. "I'll go."

Y/N shakes her head. "No, I will."

"Y/N-"

She cuts Glenn off. "I have to. For Lori. Rick. Carl. The baby."

He sighs, knowing he can't convince her to stay. "Okay... be safe."

She nods, climbing on the back of Daryl's bike, holding on as he drives out of the prison and down the debris filled roads.
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They arrive at the department store and Daryl bangs his fist on the glass window.

There's no noise so the two enter.

They split up to search the store. Y/N turns down one of the back aisles and stops in her tracks.

There's a woman walker laying face up on the ground. Her jaw snaps slowly as she catches sight of Y/N.

Y/N can do nothing but stare as the walker tries to move. She can't because her guts are hanging out and dried brown blood surrounds her.

Daryl turns the corner and pauses when he sees Y/N. He puts an arrow through the walkers head.

"You okay?" He asks Y/N after retrieving his arrow.

She shakes her head silently.

He purses his lips as he thinks. "Rick loves you."

Y/N looks up at him.

"Don't think he loves you any less cause of this." He motions toward her hands.

"I killed the first woman he ever loved." Y/N whispers.

Daryl shakes his head. "You saved their kid. Both of 'em."

Y/N sighs. "He won't be able to look at me."

"He will. Just give him time."

Y/N nods. "Okay." She whispers.

Daryl suddenly takes a small step forward, pulling her in for a hug. She is taken aback by this, as Daryl is not a hugger.

She smiles slightly. He pulls away awkwardly.

Her smile fades. "T?"

He shakes his head.

Y/N nods. She saw him get bit. She had just hoped that she would get to say goodbye.

"Carol?"

Daryl looks at the floor. "Haven't found a body."

"Who did this?"

"That asshole prisoner. Andrew. He screwed us over."

Y/N shakes her head in disbelief. Rick locked him outside with a group of walkers. They all thought he was dead.

After a moment Daryl opens his bag to reveal a container of baby formula. "It's nearly dark. Should get back."
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When they get back, they enter the cells where the remaining members of the group sit around.

Beth is holding the crying baby.

Daryl hands the formula to Maggie and walks up to Beth. "How's she doing?"

Beth shrugs. Daryl gently picks her up and holds her. She stops crying and wiggles a little. Dary!
smiles. "She got a name yet?"

"Not yet. But I was thinking maybe Sofia. Then there's Carol, too. And... Andrea. Amy. Jacqui.
Patricia. Or... Lori. I don't know." Carl says.

Daryl nods and lets the baby naw on his finger.
He huffs out a laugh. "You like that? Little ass-kicker." He looks up. "Right? That's a good name. Little ass-kicker."

A few people laugh softly.

Y/N glances at Carl. He has a small smile on his face, although his eyes aren't all there.

After making sure that the baby is okay, Y/N enters her and Ricks cell. She sits down on the bottom bunk, resting her head in her hands.

A few minutes later, she hears a gentle rattle on the door. She looks up to find Carl in the doorway.

"Hey." He says.

"Hi." She responds.

He comes into the cell, sitting down next to her. He leans into her shoulder.

The gesture alone makes Y/N want to cry again. Carl isn't mad at her.

She wraps her arm around him.

"I love you, Y/N." He says softly.

Tears now drip quietly from Y/N's eyes. "I love you too, Carl."
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