A Promise Made Long Ago

Chapter 6

A few months later on Wei Ying's twelve birthday he received his courtesy name. Wei Wuxian, his sword and his forehead ribbon that significe that he is now apart of the inner Lan family and the adopted ward of Lan Qiren. His name were add to the inner Lan family register under Lan Qirens name. Under his second gender though were written. Undetermined. That confuses him and he looked at his shufu. "A-Ying not everyone present at an early stage. Even though you are classified as a beta does not mean that you are. If you should not present as a alpha or omega between your fifteen and eighteenth birthday then we will write you down as a beta. But for now we will just put down undetermined. Do you understand?". Sect Leader Lan told him and Wei Ying nods his head telling him that he understands. When all was done Wei Ying felt the anxiety inside starts to settle down.

He's part of the Lan Sect now. He's a part of their family. He never thought that there would come a day that he would have people that care about him. A memory sprang to his mind. 'Axian you are my little brother and I will always love'. He smile at himself. Yanli was the only one that cared about him. He will always be grateful towards her. How she tried to assured him that her mother and brother loves him. 'Axian mother and A-Cheng loves you. You know that. They just don't know how to show it'. He doesn't blame her for believing that. He himself believed it for some time. But how can you love someone and hurt him at the same time. How can you look at someone with so much hatred and disdain. How do you treat someone as if he is a burden and a nuisance. How do you hit someone on the same place that he is still healing from the hits of zidian. How can you tell your supposedly brother that it is his own fault. That mother wouldn't have done it if you just had listen and do what you was told to do.

No he doesn't need that kind of love. He shakes his head slightly as if he wants to shake away all of the bad memories. The pain. The hurt. The loneliness. He has a family now so he hope. Maybe this time it will be different. Maybe this time he will have a chance to actually live. Maybe this time he will find his happiness again. He sighs softly so deep in thought that he didn't even hear that someone was approaching him until he heard someone calling his name softly. " Wei Ying". He looked up and saw Lan Zhan standing next to him.
"Lan Zhan what are you doing here?". He asked. Lan Zhan sit down next to him before he answered. " I was looking for Wei Ying. Wanted to see if Wei Ying was fine". Wei Ying gave him a small smile and answered. "Lan Zhan you need not worry about me. I am fine. Thank you for your concern Lan Zhan". He said. Lan Zhan nods his head a far away look in his eyes before he spoke again.

" I never knew or met my father before a few months ago. I didn't even know what he looks like. Do I look like him or not but I didn't care much about it. I knew his name and that he was in seclusion but other than that nothing". He said to Wei Ying who looks at Lan Zhan in disbelief. "Lan Zhan really. How is that even possible. Didn't you visit him?". Wei Ying asked him. " I didn't but I think maybe brother did at some time. My mother passed away when I was six years old.
Uncle and brother told that she was gone. I couldn't believe it. How could she just leave without saying goodbye. I refused to believe that mother would just leave so I kneel in front of her door. I don't remembered for how long I kneeled but one thing I know is that mother's door never opened. Uncle and brother found me their in front of her door kneeling is the snow. Brother told me that mothers door will never open again. I cried for the mother whom I will never see again. For the mother who will never call my name with so much affection and love. For the mother who will never again tell that I do not need to be perfect, that I do not need to follow the rules to a tee. For the mother who will never again smile at me or tease me for being so serious. For the only person who understood me and excepted me for who I am until uncle told me not to grieve in access. So I build a wall around my heart. Not showing love and affection to anyone not even brother and uncle. I told myself that it is the best way. I would not lose anyone if I don't let them to close to me. Because after mothers death. I felt like I did something wrong. That it was my fault. So I study hard. Learning and knowing the rules by heart". He turns his head towards Wei Ying who is crying silently next to him.

"I'm sorry I made Wei Ying cry. It was not my intention to do it. I just wanted to let Wei Ying know that he is not alone in his pain. That Wei Ying does not have to carry everything alone. That I will always listen if he needs someone to talk to". Lan Zhan told him. " Lan Zhan I'm so sorry. I didn't know". Wei Ying said. To which Lan Zhan answer him. "Wei Ying could not have known so Wei Ying need not to be sorry". He took his handkerchief out and wipe Wei Ying's face. Wei Ying smile and said to him.
" I was four years old when I lost my parents. You would think that I would remember them. How they looked like and how they sound. But the only thing I remembered is being chased by rabid dogs. The only memory I have of them is my mother sitting on a donkey while my father holds the reins and me on his shoulders. We were all laughing I don't know if my mother made a joke or my father. Living on the streets for all those years probably effect my memory I don't know". Wei Ying told Lan Zhan.
" There were so many times that I wished that sect Leader Jiang never found me. That I never said yes and took his hand. If I had knew then than I probably never would have gone with him. He never really protected me when his wife hit me or spewed hurtful words towards me. When she sullied my parents memories. He never even denied when he was called his bastard son as if my I didn't have my own mother or father. And it hurts knowing that the man who promised you a home, a safe place a family turned a blind eye and pretend that he doesn't see or hear anything".

Lan Zhan took Wei Ying's hand in his and gave it a light squeeze. Wei Ying looks at him and smile. " I used to smile and laughed through it all but one day I just couldn't anymore. I couldn't pretend that it doesn't hurt. That her words doesn't cut deep. That Jiang Cheng actions doesn't effect me. That his actions and careless words doesn't hurt no matter what Jiang Yanli said. So I started smiling and laughing less until I forgot how it feels to be truly free. To be truly happy. I forgot who a truly were. I became a shadow of who I once was. I would tell myself they can bruise me but they will never break me. And they didn't I was just tired of pretending you know. I was tired of being blamed for every little thing whether I did it or not. I was tired of been looking down on. I always wondered will this be my life until the day I die, but then you came and I hope I can find my happiness here again". Wei Ying told Lan Zhan. " I'm sorry Wei Ying had to go through all that. I sincerely hope that Wei Ying would find his happiness and home here". He said sincerely. " I will always be here whenever you need me". Lan Zhan says. " Thank you". Wei Ying whispered. They sat in a comfortable silence for a while until they heard footsteps behind them. They look around and saw Xichen walking towards them. " Do you two mind if I'm joining you. I hope I did not desturb you". He said. Wei Ying shakes and his and told him to sit down.

" Wuxian I could not helped but overheard what you told wanji. I'm so sorry for what you went through in your life and these past few years. I wish I could take your pain and hurt away but I can't. But like wanji said we are here for you. Don't be afraid to asked or if you need to talk we will always listen". Xichen said while looking at Wei Ying. Wei Ying had never felt so loved in his life. Tears once again wets his face as he looked between the two brothers thankful to have found two anchors to ground him. He gave them both a smile telling them thank you for your love and concern. The two brothers smiled back at him telling him that he is not alone. After that they sat in comfortably silence just enjoying the tranquility and peace of the cloud Recess.

After sometime they stood up and walked towards the Jingshi. When they arrived Lan Zhan prepared some tea for them. Wei Ying could not helped but feel warm smelling the scent of sandalwood that Lan Zhan always burns in the Jingshi. The smell always makes him feel safe and loved he don't know why. But he feels comfortable. They drink their tea in silence once Lan Zhan poured them all a cup. He wished he could smell Lan Zhan's scent he bet it must smell very nice he thought to himself. He felt a ping in his heart and sadness. He will probably never be able to smell it but his content with smelling the incense Lan Zhan burns in the Jingshi. Xichen and Lan Zhan has been watching him wondering what he's been thinking about. They saw the sadness on his face and thought that maybe he was still thinking about the Jiang sect. Nobody has the right to treat a child like this. Wuxian did not deserve it.