Joongdunk - Complicated love

𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙𝟝 ( Content warning )

pov Dunk: 

Joong began to speak, and I sat down in front of him on the bed, taking both of his hands in mine. "Take all the time you need. I'm here for you."

"When I was 8 years old, my mother passed away. It was a devastating loss for me, and my father couldn't cope with it. After my mother's death, my father turned to alcohol to numb his pain. But instead of comforting us, he became violent and abused me. It meant that he would hit me because he never approved of who I was. Everything I did was wrong, at least in his eyes."

Tears welled up in Joong's eyes as he recalled the painful memories. Tears welled up in my own eyes. Seeing him so vulnerable, broke my heart.

"It was a dark time in my life, Dunk. I felt lonely, frightened, and helpless. I had no one to confide in. Almost every day, I came to school with a new bruise. Pond asked me multiple times what was going on and that I could tell him everything. Of course, he noticed everything. He was my best friend. I felt like I could tell him everything. But not that. It just didn't work. After all, he was still my father, right? He would apologize every time too. So why should I tell others that he hit me? It wasn't intentional, or at least that's what I convinced myself. That's how it went on for four years. Eventually, I ran out of excuses to give because I was mostly at Pond's place. Whenever he asked if we could go to my house this time, I kept saying it was messy or that I didn't have time."

Omg, I covered my mouth with my hand in shock.

"One day, when I couldn't go to school because my father had hurt me so badly, Pond came to my house after school. I opened the door, thinking it was my father returning from work. Pond saw me and asked who did this to me. I told him I had fallen down the stairs. Of course, he didn't believe me, but he didn't push me to tell him the truth. He left for the time being. However, he was still worried, so he came back to our house that evening and rang the doorbell. My father answered the door, heavily intoxicated. Suddenly, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place for Pond. He looked shocked and quickly ran back to his own home. He told everything to his parents that night. I didn't hold it against him; he was just a child too. The next day, when I arrived at school, Pond rushed towards me and hugged me tightly. He reassured me that everything would be okay and that he was there for me. His parents came to our school to pick up both of us because we weren't doing well. It was an excuse, as they actually took us to my house to gather all my important belongings and they brought me to their home and said that I could sleep over or even live with them. I was incredibly grateful to them. It meant everything to me. They even went back in the afternoon to inform my father that I would be living with them from now on. He didn't care. I had always been a burden to him anyway."

He took a short pause. He had been through so much. I couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he had experienced.

"From that point on, my nightmares began. I can't fall asleep without fearing that I'll dream of him, but since you sleep beside me, the nightmares have stopped. I now realize that I'm older and no longer trapped in that dream. The fear of encountering him in one of his states consumed me, yet I had no contact with him anymore. Everything was handled through Pond's parents. They did so much for me. They raised me and taught me everything important in life. When Pond wanted to become an actor, everyone in the family encouraged me to give it a try as well. It had been a dream of ours since we were little. They made it possible, especially financially. I try to repay them, but I know I can never fully do so. Yet, they always send the money back to me. They have become like parents to me. And now he contacts me day after day. I'm afraid to meet him, yet in a certain sense, I also want to."

He continued to cry. He had been crying throughout the whole time he was telling me his story. I wiped away a tear from his cheek with my thumb. 

"I'm so sorry for what you had to go through. I know these apologies mean nothing, but I want you to know that you never deserved any of it. Firstly, it's your decision what you do and when it happens. You did nothing wrong. Secondly, if you don't feel comfortable going alone, go with me, Pond, or Pond's parents to the meeting. Everyone will understand and respect your choices," I said. 

"I love you so much, Dunk. You can't imagine how much." "

I can imagine it because I love you just as much." We lay back in bed and cuddled with each other until noon. 

Today, I just want to be there for him. Always. It was a great honor for me that he opened his heart to me and entrusted me with all of that. His openness strengthened our bond and our love for each other. It showed me that we would be there for each other in good times and bad. We had a deep connection that was strengthened by trust, love, and support. I was grateful that he confided in me and that I could be there for him. Our love became even deeper and more meaningful through this shared experience.

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I cried so much while writing this.