Secret embraces || harry lewis

36

thirty-six

I waited in front of my building for Harrison to pick me up. I called him right after pausing the video Harry's left me. Starting to regret breaking up with him, I knew I had to distract myself. If I'd come running back to him now, Harry would know that he'd get away with shit like that in the future. But what future. Was he in it? Was I even in his or would I just disappear from it within a few days?

Looking down on me, I realised that I had forgotten to give Harry back his signature red pyjama pants, because I was wearing them right now. Cursing myself, I didn't notice a black car stopping in front of me. ''Peng fit.'' I looked up to see Harrison leaning out the window with a grin on his face. ''Right? Tried my best to look good for you.'' I chuckled whilst walking in front of the car to get inside.

It was much more different than Harry's if you could even compare them. The white leather seats. The backseat was filled with clothes and other stuff and a smell laid in the air on which I couldn't quite put a finger. ''Maccies?''

I nodded whilst putting on my seatbelt. ''Yes please.'' I could feel the vibration of the car beneath me and was thrown back into the seat as Harrison drove onto the main road. ''So, the video.'' I felt like throwing up. I told Harrison a little bit about why I wanted him to pick me up at 7 on a Wednesday night. ''Yeah, yeah, well, I guess Harry prepared some sort of anniversary gift for our one year.'' I said below my breath, a little embarrassed. ''Oi, ain't he a cutie.'' Chuckling nervously, I shrugged. ''Guess so.''

I was staring straight ahead but could feel his eyes on me. ''I know you's hurting, Joan.'' I turned my head to see his face softening. Tears were coming up again but I managed to hold them back, not ready so be a crying mess again. ''A little.'' Giving me a warm smile, Harrison pulled into the nearest Maccies parking lot. ''It's on me.'' I chuckled, covering a sob, before getting out of the car. We could see that the restaurant was nearly empty, so I decided to keep the hood off my head.

We walked up to one of the big screens and placed our orders. ''Mate, you ain't that hungry, are you?'' I shook my head and stepped to the side, letting him order next. ''You are though.'' I laughed as I watched him order food that would feed me a whole day. ''Well, didn't really have time today.'' He leaded us to one of the tables. We sat across from each other and I could see him play with the receipt.  ''Working on a new song?'' His head shot around after scanning the whole building. ''Yeah, yeah.'' He shifted a little in his seat before leaning against the wall. ''What's it about?'' He shrugged. ''I could show you later.'' A bright smile appeared on my face, the first real one since what seemed like forever. ''I'd love that.'' Nodding, he looked up and watched a waiter bring us our food. I quickly grabbed my milkshake and chips before pushing the tray towards him.

I watched him dig into his food before being the one looking around. I saw a few faces looking back at me. I felt like an animal in the zoo. Everyone staring at me, hoping I'd do something interesting next. That I'd start crying. That Harrison would kiss me. Anything that could give them their five minutes of fame if they caught it on camera. I heard someone laugh, making the blood inside of me boil. Feeling the sweat on my forehead, I noticed my hands shaking. ''Are you ok?'' Feeling his hand on mine, I quickly looked at Harrison with big eyes. ''Everyone's looking. For fucks sake, I can't deal with this right now.'' Harrison looked around with a confused expression on his face. ''Who?'' Furious, I spun my head back around just to see no one looking at  us. Everyone was either talking to another person or enjoying their meal. ''Come on, let's get out of here.'' He grabbed my hand, pulling me out of the booth.

As a reflex, I pulled the hood over my head and quickly followed after him back to his car. After finally getting inside, I felt my body relaxing. My heartbeat slowed down and I was able to take off the hood. ''You're a proper mess.'' I looked at Harrison, who already started the car. ''Where are we going?'' He smiled, placing his hand on my thigh and squeezing it. ''Somewhere to distract you.'' My eyes flew to his hand. ''Sorry.''
He quickly pulled it back and started driving out of the parking lot and back onto the road.

Looking out of the window, I saw the bright white clouds in the sky, covering it up. The soft shimmer of the moon was reflecting on the Thames as we crossed it. A quiet melody came from the radio, making this feel like a movie. But I wasn't the main character. I was the sidekick that no one paid attention to. Even though I had my own, interesting storyline, no one cared about me or how the breakup affected me. I can imagine Harry having someone with him every second of the day. Or maybe he's already moved on and had a different girl laying in his arm.

''We're here.'' Shaking my head to come back to reality, I looked outside Harrison's window to see a big building reaching into the sky. ''So, this is the place where you create your masterpieces?'' I chuckled, trying to make myself think that I wasn't sad. For a second it worked, until we entered the elevator and I was alone with my thoughts again. A quiet jingle was playing in the background. Most of the people working here were already gone. I imagined how it was for me coming back from work only a week ago. If Harry was already finished with shooting, he'd either wait downstairs for me or at home, well, his place. I'd come inside and was met by the smell of food which he was preparing. But never was he done with it. He always wanted me to help him even if it was just taking something out of the oven. But now, I'd come home to a dark flat. No noises, no smell, nothing.

''We've been working on something different today.'' Harrison's voice made me look up and I saw that we were already walking inside the studio. ''Cool.'' I cringed at my own words. ''Sit.'' He pointed at one of the chairs and I did as I was told. He pushed me in front of a screen before leaning over me and locking into the computer. With a few clicks, he opened up a file and pressed play.

Listening to the beat I nearly missed Harrison's first verse. Taking in everything he was saying, I felt my eyes growing. Turning in the chair, I watched him dancing a little whilst mouthing the words. After a few more seconds, the song stopped. ''You like it?'' I was still in shock but nodded. ''Yeah, yeah, it's good.'' He chuckled a little before leaning over me again and closing the tab. ''You're a good inspiration.'' I tried to smile. ''I should get my heart broken more often then?'' He shook his head and leaned against the table in front of me. ''Nah, it's just, I've had this song in my head for a couple of weeks.'' My heart dropped a little. ''Harrison.'' Shaking his head, he pulled me and the chair closer. ''I know, you're still hung up on Harry. It's been a day. But, just keep this in mind, aight?'' His hand under my chin, I couldn't help but stare at him.

He pulled my face towards him, placing a soft kiss on my lips. It wasn't like the one at the club last night. It felt much more intimate. Different than Harry, Harrison's hand was soft. It's not like I hated the feeling of Harry's hand, but it was definitely a different one than the one I had right now. ''I will, thank you, H.'' He grinned a little and nodded. ''Shall I take you home?'' Lost for words, I nodded.