Marissa's POV
"What up, Marrisa?" I was greeted by Chase and Jessica's cheerful voices when I opened the door. I pasted a smile on my face and said "Nothing's up on this end, what about you guys?"
"Nothing, just thought we'd come over to hangout with our best friend, you free?"
"Sure, you guys can crash on the couch, I'll just go get us some junk."
They didn't reply, so I went to my kitchen and dug out some tortilla chips and a jar of salsa from the pantry. Then I went back to the living room and set them down on the table. "So, what movie do you guys wanna watch?"
"THE CONJURING, cause it's scary and we all love scary movies."Jessica immediately yelled, saying it all in one breath.
"Haha, very funny, you know that I know that Chase knows that everyone knows that you know you are just gonna start screaming before the first scare even comes. " I laughed while punching her in the shoulder.
"I know that, but the fun part is getting scared."
"Fine, but you're cleaning the couch and your pants when you pee in your pants."
"Shut up, I do NOT pee in my pants."
"Oh, are you sure or you want me to remind you of when your were 7 and we were watching SEED OF CHUCKY."
"Ugh, come on, that was a one time thing and forgive me, I was 7 years old then."
I just laughed and slid the DVD into the player of my 90-inch TV and sat back.
True enough, before the 1st scare even came, Jessica was shivering and holding onto my arm like there's no tomorrow. Me? I was too busy wincing in pain as she had gripped onto the part of my arm which I had cut on earlier.
Almost 2 hours later, the movie finally ended and I shook Jessica,"You can let go now, it's over." Chase was snoring on the couch and I decided not to wake him and just hang out with Jessica. We went into my room, and as I stretched my arms up above my head, my sleeve fell back and I saw Jessica gasp in shock. I knew she had seen my cuts.
I quickly jerked my sleeves down and turn away, taking out my laptop and setting it up while watching her out of the corner of my eyes.
Jessica's POV
No, it can't be, my eyes must have gone wrong. Marissa doesn't cut herself, she tells me everything, she would have told me if she had problems. I need to talk to her about this.
"Marissa?" I called gently.
"What?"she turned around with a smile on her face.
"What are those?" I asked as I gestured at her arms.
"These are my arms, why?"she laughed nervously.
"No, you know what I mean, Marissa. Why? Why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you cutting yourself?"
I expected or maybe I hoped that she would brush it off as cat scratches because I didn't want to think that Marissa had been going through enough to need to cut herself. Instead I saw something that I had never expected to see or ever thought that I would see.
I saw fear and sadness.
"Jessica, I'm sorry I never told you but it was just too hard, okay?"
"It doesn't matter, Marissa, I was your best friend since we were 7 and I will always be your best friend. Just tell me why, Marissa, I need to know."
"I don't know, it's not just one thing, Jess, there are alot of things. My dad, he hits me, Jess, nearly every single day. And when I get beat up by them at school. It got too much and, I don't know. I saw someone on TV do it, I saw other people do it, I thought it was nothing but a way of dealing with my emotions."
"I'm sorry too, Marissa, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you enough until I didn't even know you do this."
"No, Jess, it's not your fault. I chose to hide it from you. Not because I didn't trust you or anything, but I guess it was because part of me was ashamed at myself for doing this. Another part of me also felt like you were better than me, that I wasn't good enough for you. I was insecure and I was constantly comparing myself to you."
Marissa's POV
"No, Jess, it's not your fault. I chose to hide it from you. Not because I didn't trust you or anything, but I guess it was because part of me was ashamed at myself for doing this. Another part of me also felt like you were better than me, that I wasn't good enough for you. I was insecure and I was constantly comparing myself to you."
The moment that came out I knew I had made a major mistake. I had always took pride in myself for being able to stay cool no matter what, but I had lost my cool in front of Jessica at the slightest questioning. My anger flared and I couldn't control myself. I yanked myself out of Jessica's comforting embrace and yelled at her, "Stop! Stop Jess, stop messing with my head and stop sticking your head in my fucking life. You've gotten to know me too well and I fucking hate you for that. I never knew why you hungout with me but now I know why, you're just gonna find out all my secrets and tell it all to the rest of your friends, the little bitches at school. That's right, you fit right in with them. You are just as pretty and you would have just as many admirers if you would stop hanging out with me. We both know you want that. Come on, no one turns that kind of offer down to stay friends with a wreck like me. Now go!" I said as I pushed her out of my room.
"I would, Marissa. I would do anything it takes to help you. Even if it meant I would have to have to take a bullet fr you. "
"Don't give me all that fucking crap. Just go!"
"Please, Marissa, what about our friendship, what about all the good times we've had together?"Jessica cried, pleading for me to not push her away.
"GO!"I yelled.
"Okay, I'll go, for now, but please don't forget, I'm not what you think I am and I won't give up on you, not after 7 years of friendship. I will always be there for you, Marissa, don't forget that."
I pushed her out and slammed the door, then I turned around and saw Chase, who had awoke from the racket. I wordlessly pointed at the door, signalling that I wanted him out.
After Chase left and the whole house was once again silent. The voices in my head started up again.
"See? You're just a screw up, isn't that all you are? You're ugly and fat."
"SHUT UP!" I yelled.
"Make us, come on, you know what to do, do it and we'll shut up."
"NO! I can't! I need to be strong." I told myself.
"Cut! Cut! Cut!"the voices kept chanting, driving me crazy.
"Okay, okay, shut up, I'll do it." I said as the commands the voices gave became the only thing I heard. I went into the bathroom and shut myself in it again, repeating what I had just did before Jessica had came, only this time I didn't stop, I kept slashing at my wrist and arm, hoping that each cut would go deep enough to just end it all. The voices, the madness, everything. Then, as I begun to feel faint, I knew I had done it. I had cut deep enough, weirdly enough, all I felt was bliss, the voices in my head silenced.
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Haha, cliffhanger again, will Marissa die or will she be saved?
Okay, so I typed this on mobile n when I was half awake. So forgive the mistakes.
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