ann'e, my mother

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I wish I hadn't asked
Maybe then
I wouldn't be
sitting
Alone
On the cold tile floor
Of our tiny bathroom
With my hands in my hair
And cold, confused tears
Prickling my eyes.

She's come back
After five whole years
She's come back
After the hurt and pain
She's come back
After the neglect and loneliness
She's finally come back

My heart sways like a pendulum
Between bewildered excitement
And shattering anger

She left me
But now she's back
She hurt me
But she's back
She-
She's back
That's all that
Will ever, ever matter.

"Ann'e," I whisper
And my voice trembles,
Thick with emotion
"I missed you. I love you."

***

A. N.  "ann'e" is mother in Turkish

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