Best friends or more?

Chapter 20

👗Macy's POV👗

We head out of the cafe and walk to the nearest park. There was benches so we chose one to sit. As soon as Lexi calmed down we started to ask questions.

"What happened Lexi?" I ask, worried.

"Nothing, I just got frightened." Lexi looks down at the green grass.

"Lexi there was obviously something that bothered you." Zoe says.

"No, there was nothing to worry." Her eyes wonder the park.

"Lexi you can tell me." I grab her chin and make her look at me.

And for the first time, in a long time, there was water building up in Lexi's eyes. There was no tears but I knew she was gonna cry. I've never seen her cry before. It was like a cry that made you want to cry because someone you love is hurting.

"I'm fine." Lexi says even though her voice cracks.

"Hey I better get going..." Zoe whisks away, but I didn't care.

"Lexi, why am I not worth your secrets?" I wanted to cry myself.

"Because Macy, my secrets are so heavy they'll crush you." She smiles a small one.

"Tell me one, one small one. Then we can go to another, then another. We can fix things Lexi." I try to cheer her up.

I am so optimistic when it comes to Lexi. I feel as if I can make her better, the only problem is that I don't need to fix her. She needs to fix herself. That effects me because I love her so much that I want to make it all better right now but I can't. How was I gonna help a broken person be fixed again, especially when they're the tool to make themselves better.

"What if some of my secrets can't be fixed Macy? What if they have to do with who I am?" She looks at me with eyes that make me want to throw myself off a bridge because I am not worthy enough.

"We'll get through them, you just have to trust me." Then I thought of something.

What if this whole thing was not if I could handle it, more of that Lexi doesn't trust me. I mean she trusts me to drive the truck, and that pretty important to her so why not secrets? We were best friends before any of this happened and best friends trust each other, right?

"Wait, you don't trust me?" My eyes blur.

"Not its not that..." Lexi starts.

"Then what could it possibly be Lexi?" My eyes start to dry again.

I was not gonna cry over this. I was not gonna cry over mistrust. She betrayed me and I wasn't sure what it even was over.

"Macy, keep these things to myself to protect you. So that..."

"Sounds like a bunch of bullsh*t Lexi!" I yell. "I thought we were friends! Friends don't keep secrets!!"

"Macy let me explain..." She tries but I was done.

"You know what Lexi? I thought that you weren't gonna come back the other night. I had nightmares. You made me worry about you because you just upped and left like that! I didn't know if you were coming back nor what time! I cried Lexi... I cried because you're more than my best friend! I love you with all my heart but you do stupid sh*t!" I didn't let a single for tear run for her, not after what she put me through.

I turn from her. I couldn't look at her and see what her mouth was saying to me. I couldn't watch her beautiful smile be gone from her face because I had taken it away.

"And you know what Lexi, I'm gonna leave you. Just like you did me. Except this time, I don't know if I'll come back." I start to walk away.

Then it turns into a sprint towards anywhere but the park. There were lefts and rights and soon enough I was so far away I didn't know where I was. There was a brick building that I sat and cried at. How could Lexi do this to me? I shouldn't have ran but I was so irrational that I didn't know what else to do.

🎧Lexi's POV🎧

She left. She actually left me. All alone, on a park bench. My eyes water once more.

I couldn't think.

I couldn't breath.

All I felt was numb.

Just like at the club.

She left me.

Just like everyone else in my life.

Slowly I walk to the hotel. It wasn't far so I walked, just like earlier. Except earlier, all of my secrets, were secrets. Now she knew I was hiding things from her. I don't care. All I feel is numb. I need to drink. I need to smoke. I needed to feel something. Or maybe it was better that I felt nothing.

Opening the doors to the lobby I walk to the elevator and push the number for my floor. I walk up to my room and get my suitcase. I sit on my legs in front of one of the windows by my dresser.

"I can't leave her though." I whisper to myself.

I start to cry. Something I haven't done in years. Ever since my dad raped me. Yes, it was then since I last cried. I wipe my tears.

"There is no point in crying now, she's gone." I look down, ashamed of myself.

"Well my little reject, I could disagree." I hear the voice of my nightmares.