Chapter 24

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ROSE

"I do care. Unlike others." is in my mind all the time. Why am I torturing myself like this?

I just have to accept that he's not going to change his mind. He's going to be mean and locked up in the thought of me cheating on him.

And I... I'm not going to put myself into that kind of pain anymore. I don't need him. I don't need Dimitri in my life. All I need is my child to be born, healthy and safe. That's all I need.

And I'm done with trying. DONE.

"Can we talk?" Mark poked me on my shoulder while I was reading a magazine.

"Yeah, sure." I said. We stepped out to the garden. I took a seat on the chair. Mark takes the other.

The sun is shining today, and it's getting very warm. It's April and still no news about Robert. That dead weirdo is hiding very well. I don't know for how long this situation is going to last but I don't have a lot of time anymore. Less then a month till the birth. And that means danger. Robert could come any moment and hurt my child and destroy everything I have. That would be even worse than killing me.  

"It’s been a while since you fainted, but I never asked you... how are you?" Mark started.

"I've been better. Still hoping them to find Robert."

"Trust me, they're trying their best." he tries to make me feel better.

"That's what scares me the most." I made him know, it's not working.

"And we will find him soon. I'm sure of it." he says. I give him a smile back.

"But I was thinking about the reason you fainted." he said.

"Don't-"

"Rose... I'm so sorry. But Oksana and I needed to go... and I couldn't trust anyone else to do this job..."

"No. Don't blame yourself. He was just acting all grown up again and didn't want to listen..." I said rolling my eyes, "But I'm over with trying to open his eyes and make him start to listen."

"I know what he did wasn’t right... but I think that he doesn't want to listen because he hates to believe that he's not as he was before he changed into a strigoi. That he's not a dhampir even though he was changed back. That he's different."

"But what about me?" I asked. "What about this child? His child."

"I know... That's why someone needs to make him listen."

"I'm starting not to care." I said looking at the trees in front of us. But the tears came. When Mark saw them he came closer to me with his chair.

"Damn! I love him so much. And he hurts me. He hurts my feelings. He makes me feel bad about myself without even being guilty. And I know he cares too. But I'm not going continue being pushy, because I don't want to and it puts my child in danger with me being nervous and angry." Mark takes my hands into his. "I'm letting him realize it by himself. If he loves me... he's going to accept that he's different and finally see how much I love him."

"But I'm not giving him much time anymore. When my child gets born, when Robert gets killed, I'm leaving. I'm leaving everyone I know and I'm moving to a place where no one knows me." I say. And I mean it.

"That's going to be a little hard with the reputation you have." Mark smiles handing me a tissue. "But what about Lissa?"

"Lissa will understand. I know she will. I mean... she is my best friend, my family. But I have someone else I need to protect. And raise." I said. Mark nodded.

And I'm sure of Lissa letting me go. First she is going to try to find another way, or try to convince me that the Court is safe, but eventually she'll be fine with it. She will understand me as she always did. We used to have a one way bond but it wasn't truly working one way. She always knew what was going on...

Only if I wanted to hide that from her. I mean... Considering that my best friend didn't know about my crush until it was obvious.

"Let's go back inside, the sun is getting down." Mark interrupted my toughts.

When we came in, both Ivan and Yulian were sitting by Oksana in the living room.

"What is going on?" Mark asked.

"She's close." Ivan said.

"I don't know if I'm close. It just feels like it." Oksana said with her eyes closed.

Mark and me went closer and waited.

"NO!" she yelled after some time. "I was almost there!" she put her face in her hands. "I'm sorry." she said when she looked at me. Then her eyes were closing. Mark went to her and took her in his arms to carry her in the bedroom.

"I tried... But it's too hard... I don't think I'm able to do it, Mark..." she was saying on the way there.

I took a seat next to Ivan on the couch. I was feeling a little uncomfortable.

"Here, I'll help you." Ivan put a pillow behind my back.

"Thanks." I smiled to him.

"I hate doing this to her." I say.

"No, let her. She once told me how much she wants to do it."

"But it's hurting her. It makes her weak." I said. Ivan probably didn't know what to say anymore, that's why he just put his arm behind me and let me lean on his shoulder. I feel asleep like that.

"Hey, cousin?" Yulian woke me up. I was sleeping on the couch with my pillow on Ivan’s shoulder. "I know that it's early, but we got a call from... from Olena Belikova."

"Olena? What's up?" I asked him still half asleep.

"Yeva Belikova is dying. And Olena said that her mother requested to see you for the last time."

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