SWIM // MITCHEL CAVE

23- Alone

Jaz's POV

We had only been here half an hour and the place was already packed. There was such a big turn out and I felt an overwhelming feeling of pride for the boys, they deserved this and so much more.

There was so many different people here; friends, management and talent executives not to mention some fans were invited too. There was also lots of models and a few other recognisable faces from the industry. I felt incredibly out of place so I mostly just followed Mitchel around or lingered by the bar, I didn't want to look like a lost puppy while he talked to all these important people.

It was great to be here and to show support for Mitchel and the boys but at the same time it was so crowded and overwhelming, I wasn't used to this sort of thing the same way they were.

I had been sat at the bar for the last hour or so downing several drinks in an attempt to feel less stiff and self conscious but it was only making me worse. Mitchel had hardly spoke to me all night and I figured it was because he was still annoyed at me for forgetting about the party despite my apologies. He said in the car it wasn't a big deal but it obviously was. He had left me here at the bar and was making his way around the room himself.

Lots of models and pretty girls would come up to him and strike up conversation and I could see him laughing away and making conversation back with them. It made me annoyed yes, but I had no right to be. It was my fault he was upset with me in the first place.

I still didn't think he would just abandon me here, however. He hadn't even looked in my direction the full time, it was like he was trying to block me out.

I downed another vodka before sliding it back over to the bartender to fill another.

"You doing okay?" Christian asks.

I hadn't even noticed Christian appearing and so I jumped a little at the fact someone was talking to me having sat alone in silence for so long.

I nod my head and shoot him a warm smile but I know he can see through my facade.

"It can get a bit much huh?" He asks knowingly.

"Yeah it's just not what I'm used to" I reply.

"You'll get used to it" He reassures "It means a lot to Mitchel that you're here"

I let out a dry laugh at his words.

"Doesn't seem like that" I say bringing my new drink to my lips.

"He's just nervous" Christian reassures.

Nervous for what? For people to hear the album? I didn't ask him to elaborate, his reply was probably just him defending Mitchel, they were best friends of course.

"We're gonna play it in about twenty minutes or so" He beams.

I couldn't help but smile back, Christian's happiness could be contagious and in this case, it was spreading to me.

"Can't wait" I reply.

"I need to go help set up, will you be okay here?" He asks concerned.

I nod my head and flash him a big smile, I didn't want to pass my bad mood onto him or the others, they deserved a good party.

I spotted Mitchel who was still talking to a pretty blonde girl, Christian goes up to him and says something in his ear before Mitchel looks over in my direction, his emotion unreadable. He mutters something back to Christian before he goes off to presumably set up. Mitchel says goodbye to the girl who looks pretty peeved that Christian interrupted their conversation.

And then I couldn't see anyone I knew. Clinton and Jesse were out of sight now too and I felt close to crying although I wasn't sure why. I felt like an idiot and a loner. I was the only person sitting alone and I had never felt like this before. Guess the saying was right, it was amazing how lonely you could feel in a room full of people.

I use this as an excuse to go to the bathroom and freshen up, secretly I was scared I would start crying in front of all these people.

I got inside and there were a couple of girls who whispered to eachother before sending me a glare and exiting the room. It was like high school all over. I was never very popular or had many friends for that matter, meeting Cat when I came out here was the closest I've gotten to having a best friend.

I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or the uncertainty of why Mitchel was avoiding me but I felt horrible. I was alone, I was bored and I just wanted to go home. Maybe I should go home. I wanted to support the boys on this night but how could I do that looking like this? Feeling like this? They deserved better.

A few tears escaped my eyes and I wiped them away looking at myself in the mirror. I was pathetic. I was crying over nothing.

I could hear people outside so I quickly shuffled into a cubicle before someone seen me in this state. I sat on the toilet crying softly to myself as I contemplated leaving the party altogether.

-
Mitchel's POV

"Come on help us!" Christian said punching my arm playfully.

I snap back to reality lifting up one of the mic stands and placing it on the stage. People weren't paying much attention yet, everyone was busy mingling.

I look out at the room but my eyes failed to find Jaz. I felt bad after Christian informed me on how she felt unwanted by me here. I'll admit, I was upset when she had forgot one of the most important nights of my life but she didn't deserve to have this held over her. She was quiet when we arrived and I could tell she was uncomfortable being introduced to so many people and so I left her at the bar not thinking too much on it. The time got away from me, I never realised how long I had left her there alone. I was a dick.

I wanted nothing more than to go find her and apologise to her and kiss her beautiful face but I had another task at hand. I had to do what I came here to do and that was to perform.

We were finishing up the last of the set up and due to begin any minute and she was still nowhere in sight. I didn't want to begin without her.

"Where is she?" I whisper to the boys.

They all throw back looks of confusion and I don't know's. I knew I didn't have time to look for her. We had a two minute warning and everyone was tuning up and I did a few test words into the mic causing a few eyes to flicker over to us.

The lights went down and spotlights were beaming on our faces. It was beginning and she wasn't anywhere to be seen. The crowd made its way over to the stage section and a few people pulled out their phones, ready to film and take photos.

The boys all did their introductions and my eyes still feverishly scanned the room hoping I could somehow find her eyes staring back at me.

It was my turn now. I take a deep breath as I bring my mouth to the mic.

"Hi I'm Mitchel and-"

As I was introducing myself I finally caught her. Her long hair caught my eyes as she flipped it behind her briefly catching my gaze only to drop it again. She was walking in the opposite from the stage and towards the exit. She was leaving.

The boys were staring at me laughing uncomfortably as I realise I had froze on stage. I looked like an idiot.

"I Uh, I'm Mitchel" I repeat "And I have to go"

I walk away from the mic and jump down from the stage excusing myself through the crowd as I head towards the exit.

---

Sad chapter I guess...

Hope you guys still like this story and be sure to check my clinton story; Consume.

As always, please vote and comment. It helps immensely 🙌🏽