Pan de Jimin

Pandesal 38

PANDESAL 38

nag-cringe ako sa ka-conyo-han ng chapter na 'to. mygod ugh jkhnljkfgfhdn

IVORY's POV

Maybe its better for me to walk away nalang.

Hindi ko nakakayanan ang mga galit na tingin sa akin nila Jimin, and I'm too embarrassed na din sa mother ni Yoongi oppa. I can't stand their accusing stares, nahihiya ako kasi sa lamay pa nila nalaman yung plano ng Lolo ko about their barangay.

Alam kong its bad na tinago ko sakanila ang nalaman ko. It's just that hindi ako makahanap ng tiempo to say that to them. And damnit, talagang sa pinakamaling situation pa nila nalaman ang totoo. I really feel bad. But what'd done is done.

"Ivory!"

Napalingon ako, only to find Hoseok following me pala.

"Hey," I weakly make sagot-sagot to him.

Magsama kayo ni Hoseok. Tutal, pareho naman kayong magaling manira ng buhay. Jimin's voice kept ringing in my head. I sighed, tama siya. Sinira ko ang buhay niya.

"Sabay na tayo umuwi." offer sa akin ni Hobi.

Tipid akong ngumiti sakanya at magkasama nga kaming umuwi gamit ang sasakyan nila.

We were silent all throughout the byahe on our way home. Two horsemen of despair travelling home together. Napatingin ako kay Hobi, he really looked sad and disappointed at himself. Parehas lang kami ng nararamdaman na emotion.

"I want to make it up for them. Hindi ko alam kung mapapatawad nila ako pero gusto kong makabawi sa lahat ng kasalanan na I did for them." malungkot kong sabi.

"Ako din." sagot ni Hobi.

He reached for my hand and gently squeezed them. Kahit papano, I know na meron akong kakampi for now. Pero hindi ko mapigilan na mas lalong malungkot, because before wala kaming lahat, and now, dalawa nalang kami. It's just sad. And my kaconyohan is making the author sadder.

One week later.

Sobrang daming ganaps happened. And every passing day is like very pabigat to me. Maraming schoolworks, may activities sa school na ako ang nagmanage, may outreach activity at lahat na ata ng activity na maisipan ng school, nangyari na. But the saddest highlight of the week was Yoongi's burial. Hindi ako pumunta. I was afraid na baka masira ko ang solemn day na 'yun. Nagtirik nalang ako ng kandila sa chapel, praying for peace and Yoongi's soul to depart safely in heaven.

Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses akong umiyak sa one week na 'yun. I was mourning for the loss of a friend, crying because the friends I once had aren't talking to me nor looking at my direction. Para akong sakit na iniiwasan nila. Solitude isn't really my thing. And Jimin...he's treating me very differently. And it pains me. A lot.

It was a saturday morning, kakarating ko lang ng bahay from my morning jogging when I saw him sa garden, dinidiligan niya ang mga halaman habang nagwhi-whistle ng isang kanta (DNA). Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sakanya. My heart was beating heavily because kahit na sa iisang bahay kami nakatira, malimit lang kaming nagkikita because we're both busy.