Nothing But Trouble

Chapter 32

Word count: 1,291
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Bella
"What?" Alex said. She paused for a moment as if she was thinking. "Why didn't you tell me you lost your job?" She said. It somewhat looked like she was hurt. I'm sure she wasn't, it wasn't that big of a deal.

I shrugged, "I didn't really loose my job. I quit."

"Why?" She asked, "You could have told me." She said.

I don't understand why she was making it such of a big deal. I mean I'm the one without a job. She stood up and left the living room. I was left standing confused and looked over at Gemma and Maya. Maya stood up and left, to go see about Alex I assume.

"What's her problem?" I said and drunk the rest of burning liquor in my glass.

"She feels like you're distant. You barely see us, well them." Gemma said. I did see Gemma more often but she lived the closest. "She just thinks you don't tell her anything anymore. You know how she felt about when you first got pregnant." Gemma said. I nodded finally realizing how Alex felt and why she was acting that way. She felt left out, I guess? Like I didn't trust her.

I sat my glass down on the glass table and sighed. It was my fault. She was right. I was more distant. But it wasn't on purpose. When I got involved with Rio before we robbed the store, it was clear he was dangerous. I just was protecting them and I didn't need Alex knowing I was sleeping with Rio, or had feelings for him. I didn't even let Gemma know, she found out on her own. Even though I was grown and could make my own decisions. I have been being less responsible and not really thinking about my life choices. Even though Rio was good to Emma and it was clear he wouldn't hurt her, I put me and her in more danger everyday. He's involved with dangerous people and I knew what he was capable of. He killed. Kidnapped. Sold drugs. In a gang, he's the fucking leader. There were so many red flags with Rio. But I still involved myself with him. I couldn't stay away from him. I wasn't mad at Rio at all though, it's his lifestyle. It's been his life before we met and I had the chance to get out and not be involved with him anymore. But I simply didn't want to.

But I care about him. These past months, Its been a little over half a year. I let myself develop feelings for him. Before I realized it, I was crying. Of course. I was weak. I hated crying. Especially around people. "I've been so irresponsible." I said as more tears slipped from my eyes.

"Bella it's okay, Alex will be fine." She reassured. She sat down next to me and rubbed my back.

"I know. It's not just about Alex. I'm so stressed." About Brian. I tried pushing the thought of him being dead far down without actually dealing with the loss of him. I felt stupid for feeling bad about his death. He treated me like shit. But we loved each other since high school. I still involved myself with Rio, but all this stress was because of him. All he did was bring me nothing but trouble and stress. But he did seem like he did things because he just cared.

"Bella you have to calm down. Did you take your medicine?" Gemma asked.

"Don't tell them about Brian please. Or don't tell them about me and Rio." I said ignoring her question. I hate taking that shit.

"I'm not. What about you and Rio? You guys had sex, yeah but you just work together." She said.

"No I think I have feelings for him.." I said.

"Well, you don't have to tell anyone anything about you and Rio. But eventually you have to let them know about Brian. But I won't tell them." She said.

I nodded and hugged her, "You're the best sister." I chuckled and wiped my tears.

She smiled, "I knew you liked him." I rolled my eyes in response.

"I'm going to talk to Alex," I got up and walked to the porch outside. She and Maya sat on the bench.

"Alex." I spoke. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my job, or anything else. We're sisters and I know we should tell each other things. I'm sorry if you felt left out." I said.

She nodded, "I know Bella. You've had social problems since a child, even with family I know it was always hard for you and I don't judge you for that. I'm not going to push you to talk. Only you know when you're ready." She said. I almost cried all over again at her words.

"I have the best sisters." I smiled.

-

I opened the door to my apartment, "Noah?" I called out before switching on the lights. I didn't get a response, which meant he wasn't here. I turned from the door. Emma ran to my room. Well our room.

I walked to the kitchen, I screamed loudly. I held my hand up to my heart. "What the fuck Rio? Why were you in the dark?" I said.

He stared at me, not saying anything. He jumped down from the counter and walked over to me. He stared at me, his eyes roaming my face. He was doing it again. He always did and I always wondered what was going through his mind.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, furrowing his eyebrows.

I raised my eyebrows, "Nothing. You just scared me-"

"No you've been crying." He said. He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him as he walked over to the couch. He sat down and pulled me on his lap. I sighed and snuggled into him. I laid my head in the crook of his neck. We stayed like this for a while until I moved to lay on his chest. I listened to the steady beat of his heart, it was peaceful. I started to doze off, but was woken up by his voice.

"Sweetheart?" Rio said.

"I'm just stressed. I pushed my feelings for Brian down. I don't want to embrace them and I think they're finally coming. I don't know when i'll have another breakdown." I said truthfully as I fought my tears.

"I didn't want to really talk to you about Brian because I don't want you to feel like it's your fault. I told you to kill him, and now I'm crying over him. But it's not that i'm in love with him, I just cared about him." I said.

He sighed and remained silent. I hope he wasn't mad. I told him to kill Brian and now I'm hurting because of it?

He picked me up to turn me around causing me to straddle his waist. He caressed my face and I leaned into his hand. "It's okay. I'm not upset with you. I know how you feel." He said and his eyes left mines. What was on his mind? He never made eye contact with me when he talked about the least of his feelings. He had walls built. Tall ones.

He pecked my lips, "I'm sorry." He said but I didn't understand why he was apologizing. It's not like I begged him not to kill Brian. I just hugged him. Emma came running in. I stood up from Rio quickly and sat next to him.

"Daddy, I can't open the blue." She said. as she held her paint up to him.

I sighed, she probably got paint everywhere.I looked at Rio, "I just don't want to confuse her as much as I am." I said referring to when I quickly got off of his lap. He nodded.

"I know sweetheart."
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