Group Therapy

49 - Pathetic.

I couldn't sleep for pretty much the whole night.

Falling asleep isn't that hard, the trick is staying asleep.

I turn over and check my phone for the time on the nightstand next to me, 8:16 am.

I put the phone back down and just lay there, my mind drifting off to anything and everything.

When did it all come to this? I knew my life would never be normal again but l didn't know it would be having to carry a loaded gun on me kind of fucked up.

Training supposedly starts today after lunch, or breakfast, l don't remember. l was preoccupied with controlling the sudden rush of adrenaline Ryder caused.

I hear a loud groan followed by someone cursing and immediately recognize it as Ryder's grumpy self.

"What the fuck happened last night?" Ryder asks with red swollen eyes.

Even in this state he's somehow still attractive. How does he do it?

"Good morning to you too. Hold on, I'll get you some Tylenol." l speak, throwing the blanket and comforter off me and walking into the bathroom.

I open the medicine cabinet behind the mirror and take out the Tylenol before walking out of the bathroom and handing it to Ryder along with the water bottle that stood on my nightstand.

He takes the pill and chugs down the whole bottle after it.

I quickly get back under the covers, welcoming the warmth with open arms.

Despite the sun shining bright in the sky, Michigan is still as cold as a freezer.

"May l ask again, what the fuck happened last night?" he asks.

I knew he wouldn't remember a thing by the morning but a part of me hoped that he would, just so that he would know that I'm there for him if he needs me. But, it's probably for the best anyway.

"You blacked out, that's what happened."

"Ho-" he stops, as if the realization hit him and immediately the look of pure regret spreads across his face.

I sigh, the corner of my lips slightly tugging upwards at his reaction but l resist, forcing my mouth to become an unreadable line.

About fifteen minutes pass by and all l did was scroll through social media with nothing better to do.

I hear the bathroom door click and l look up without moving my head only to be greeted by Ryder in a towel wrapped around his waist and water dripping down his body and hair. His six pack is prominent and very hard to miss.

Let me repeat that, just a towel.

I choke on air at the sight, literally.

His lips curve into a cocky smirk as l recover from inhaling my own saliva.

"You okay there?" he asks in a mocking tone as he picks out clothes from his closet.

"Yeah, l umm just uhhh never mind." l say and continue to stare down at my phone, avoiding eye contact at any cost.

I'm sure my face is as red as a tomato now.

I will never be able to recover from this.

He takes his clothes and walks back into the bathroom, allowing me to release the breath l hadn't even noticed that I'd been holding in.

Get your shit together Laynie.

In only two minutes or so, he comes out now fully clothed in a simple black hoodie and jeans.

I'd been so distracted by the view that l didn't notice that his eyes were now not red or swollen anymore.