Hold Me Close (Azucarera Series #3)

Kabanata 20

Kabanata 20

Blood

Hindi pa nag-iilang sandali sa sayaw, narinig ko na si Aria sa stage.

"Shit! Nakakakilig!" sabay tili ni Aria, hindi ko alam kung para saan iyon at ayaw ko nang alamin.

Pumikit ako ng mariin, at medyo sumulyap sa banda ni Aria, isang diversion kunwari para hindi na matitigan si Alvaro. When Alvaro moved, I tried to do the same.

The more we progress to this dance without talking, the more it became awkward. For years, I have learned to interact. It didn't come easy for me but I'd like to think that I mastered it. Pero ngayon, wala sa lahat ng turo ni Aria, at librong nabasa ko ang paraan paano gawing magaan itong pagsasayaw namin.

Nang nahuli niya ang malilikot kong mata, parang tumalon ang puso ko. Agad kong iniwas ang tingin ko at nagkunwaring may ibang nakakuha ng atensiyon.

I suddenly wish for Aria to shriek or something so I can look her way and not Alvaro's. Kaya lang wala. Walang nang-asar. Hindi ko lang alam kung wala ring pumapansin.

Nahuli niya ulit ang tingin ko. Napakurap-kurap ako at ginawang paraan iyon para bumaling sa stage kahit na wala namang maganda roon.

"Nahihiya ka ba?" his baritone was so pleasant to the ears.

Bumaling ulit ako pero hindi ko matagalan. Lalo na sa ganito ka lapit. Umiling ako. I swallowed hard and continued dancing slowly, even when my heart is pounding loud.

"You seem so comfortable with your last dance partners. You're like a tree with me."

Napabaling ako sa kanya. He smirked. Hindi ko na alam kung ngingisi rin ba ako o ano. My lips trembled and I honestly don't know what to do. I feel like I'm back as the Grade seven Yohan. Hindi dapat ganoon. I have struggled for years and tried my best to be a better person, not that I was then worse.

"Uh... Syempre... matagal na tayong hindi nagkikita," sabi ko at pinilit na tawanan iyon.

He smiled and paused. Tumitig siya sa akin na para bang sinasaulo niya ang pagsasalita ko.

"Tama ka. Matagal na nga pala."

Hindi ko na nadugtungan iyon. I feel like I'm struggling for words. I'd rather recite in front of many many people than here in him.

"Nakalimutan mo na siguro ako?"

Ang unang naisip ko ay mga salitang hindi ko dapat sinasabi. Buti napigilan ko ang sarili ko kung hindi'y sasagot ako nang 'Sinong makakalimot sa'yo'.

"Matagal na 'yon pero naaalala kita."

He smiled and crouched a bit. I couldn't help my self. Namilog ang mga mata ko sa kaunting paghanga. "I hope those were good memories, though."

I chuckled a bit. He chuckled too. Pakiramdam ko mahihimatay ako ngayon, isang bagay na naisip kong siya lang talaga ang makakapagparamdam sa akin.

I stopped, though. I know that I shouldn't dwell on our past. The Grade seven Yohan learned her lesson very well. It didn't leave a scar but it passed through my heart.

Hanggang hanga lang ang puwede kong igawad sa kanya. Maraming nagbago sa akin, pero ganoon din sa kanya. It's always as if every time I step up to reach him, he steps twice to leave me.

He's now a very successful man, a soldier of the country. He has his own duties. Bukod diyan, he had always been a candy for the girls. Noon, at lalo pa ngayon. I don't think he's single, but if he is, I can't be silly and think that there could be something more. It's different now. At dati pa man, hindi naman talaga ako ang tipo niya.