15-Losing a friend is intense

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It's 11:39pm in London, but it's tomorrow somewhere so HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVE 2014 !!!!🎊🎉
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*2 weeks later*

I slowly walked down the path, paper in my hand, suit on my body, and frown upon my face. It was Kevin's funeral, the worst day of my life.

Jacob; wearing a matching suit, stood next to me, looking equally as sad. This was a sad day for all of us, even Chloe. She had walked passed me with who assume are parents and gave me a small smile. I gave her a small nod in return.

"Girlfriend?" He asked me.

"No..." I sighed watching her.
"That's Chloe isn't it?" He asked.
I nodded.

I had told him about Chloe, told him everything. We were at a funeral, Kevin's funeral. Now was not the time to have that talk about it. I looked at the range of photo's near his coffin, they were surrounded by flowers. There were photos of him alone; photos of me, him and Jacob, there was even a photo of him and Chloe.

How did I not know?

The ceremony was emotional, i'm normally quite strong, but even I couldn't help but let a few tears slip. Both me and Jacob cried a little. Chloe was a few people away from me, she was crying heavily next to Kevin's mum. Everybody loved Kevin, he was amazing, I couldn't help but feel as if it was my fault.

Maybe if I had warned him, maybe if I had walked him to the station, maybe if I was more aware, maybe if I had asked him what was going on, Maybe if I had went after him with more effort, maybe if I was a better friend. Maybe he wouldn't be dead, maybe he wouldn't have been killed.

Anger started to boil inside of me, I was annoyed with myself. What if I could have prevented it?

"It's not your fault." Jacob said reading my mind.

"Bu-"

"It's not, everyone always feels as if it were their fault, it's not." he said quickly.

I turned around to see Chloe, she was holding a piece of paper too. We were both about to do a speech. We had both spent the week writing a speech about Kevin, about what we loved about him, about what we would miss about him, our memories. It took me a while to write this, and I only finished it this morning.

We both walked up the short stairs together and stood in front of the stand, we were going to read each others speeches. I looked around the area, it was an outdoor funeral. I could see allot of familiar faces, gang members, school friends, Kevin's cousins. I could see Demi at the front, her black dress blowing in the wind, her eyes were bloodshot red from crying.

We looked at each other, I felt my eyes start to sting. Chloe was going first, she was reading my speech. I didn't know what to say, I have never written one of these, so I just wrote about what I like and would miss about him.

"W-We miss you-you K-Kevin.....Why did you leave us? You left me. I miss you, I don't want you to go. I will always remember how you put on your left sock, then left shoe, then right sock, then right shoe. You were a weirdo, but thats what made you awesome man. We all love you, we all need you. All the things you didn't get to do, you shouldn't be gone. You should be here, I should have been a better friend. You were always there for everybody, I am going to miss that about you Kevin. Well...Good bye great friend. We love you Kevin......"

It was my turn to read out Chloe's speech. I slowed the lump in my throat before focusing my eyes on the neatly typed speech.

"H-hay Kevin." I started my voice shaking. "H-how are you? Whats it like up there? I remember how you used to always say that you wanted to visit the clouds, your doing it now. I remember all the jokes you would make about living in heaven, is it like what you would have expected? We miss you Kevin, we hope your having a good time up there. All the promises that we made, I am still going to keep. I have you back Kevin, and-and i'm g-going to defend your name. I know you would. Watch over us up there, we need you down here Kevin. Your the best Kevin, see you soon."

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