Purely Arrogant | ✓

Obliteration

I ran out of there, I couldn't handle it.

My heart was pounding so hard, I could practically feel it make contact with my rib cage. Each painful beat worse than the other. My head was aching, it was impossible to focus. I struggled to find a place where I could calm down, everywhere I turned there was people. I struggled to find a place where I could just breathe.

Finally I saw something that said "stairs to the roof, restricted"

I didn't care.

Almost tripping over the heels that remained on my feet, I claimed the stairs. I didn't care how long it took me to get upstairs, or how many stairs there actually were, I just needed to escape.

The night sky was pitch black, not once star remaining. It was raining lightly but I didn't care. I ran to the corner of the roof and sat down, my back against the cold brick. I slid down the ice wall, I crossed my legs and placed my hands in my face. I couldn't stand it.

I couldn't stand to think about how Levi knew.

I couldn't stand to think about how Emma would do this to me.

I couldn't stand to think about how I almost told him I liked him.

He could never know that I liked him. Even if he did like me back. He deserved someone better than me, he deserved a normal, perfectly healthy girlfriend and I couldn't be that for him. Everything was wrong in my life. My life was a mess and I couldn't ever fix it. My life destroyed, it had been destroyed since I turned fourteen. I'm never going to be a normal girl, why would I even try to convince myself that?

I sat there for a while, my legs crossed, my hair getting soaked, my face in my hands.

Today was supposed to be a good day.

It was one of the worst.

Before I knew it however, the rooftop door opened, the yellow light slightly escaping as it opened. It slammed closed, causing me to flinch slightly. I didn't look up from my hands to see who it was. I didn't want anybody to see me. I felt a soft material drape over my arms. I think it was someone's blazer, it smelled like cologne. I looked up to see Levi sat besides me, sat in the exact same position as me.

I wiped my tears away, extremely grateful that Eliza had asked for all my makeup to be waterproof, of course my under eyes were probably still a little black considering waterproof makeup never worked properly, but it must've looked better than if my makeup wasn't waterproof.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"Why are you sorry for?" Levi asked looking into my eyes.

I shook my head, sniffling slightly "I didn't want you to find out like this. I should've told you"

Levi shook his head, along with mine "You should never feel the need to tell anybody something that's personal to you"

I took a shaking breath in, shivering slightly "How are you taking this so well?" I asked, completely confused. "I've never explained anything to you. I've never explained why I lived with my aunt, I've never explained why I don't like hugs, I've never explained why I didn't say next you on the bed. You never asked me once. Why?"

He sighed "You want the truth?"

I nodded.

"I already knew" he answered as my eyes widened. "Nobody told me. But it wasn't hard to figure out. You never had any pictures in your room, just the one with you a man and a woman, your parents. There was only one and you were young in it. I know you don't get travel sick, your claustrophobic. That's why you never sat next to me on the bed. That's why your breathing rate increased when we took pictures. I know you get nightmares, I know you can't sleep at night. Sometimes you come to school completely I'll  dark circles under your eyes. They're not there for no reason" he continued