Words I'll Never Say

♥{9} Reality

July 9th 2016, 04:00

Today it just hit me.
Like a car crash or a train wreck.
It hit so suddenly. And left tragically, and left only tragedy.
It was a hard slap to the face.
The sting it felt lingered like the smell of tobacco after you smoked a whole pack, or two.
It remained like a coffee stain on your shirt, like ink on paper, paint on walls, scars on your skin.

Reality.

I tried to forget it, poured a glass of scotch, or two.
I felt the burn in my throat with every sip. And although it hurts, I enjoyed it.
There was an after shock. Like ones after an earthquake.
The realization came as a surprise.
But the kind of surprises on your birthday where you find that your fish has died instead of a party.
Everything becomes too real.
It is no longer a fairytale.
It's reality.
In my head I knew it was too good to be true, but in my heart I kept hoping it would somehow work out.
I guess my head was right.
But now I want him to be happy,
and if it's not with me that's fine,
because he's the only person I've loved enough to put before myself.
Seeing him happy, makes me happy,
and that's what love is... Right?

~ Zeina