Get Your Guns | Vol. 1 | Jamie Bower Fanfiction

21| To Love And Let Go

Jamie

Playing a gig with or actually just singing a song with Skye had been absolutely amazing. The wonder was she didn't seem to know how good she actually was. How her voice merged with mine to perfection, hitting high notes like an angel's, seemingly without trying. The evening had went on as crazily as it had started, screaming, shouting, laughing girls and me and the guys playing and singing as if possessed. It was unbelievably mad! I loved playing gigs and as much as I wanted to rip my fans heads of at time, I loved them; they supported my music and my acting and made my life possible.

Though, I was having a hard time being a good celebrity at the moment. It was Monday afternoon and I had spent my whole day doing all but trying to find a job, while trying not to think of Skye. I knew people was wondering what I would do next and I hoped it would be 'the mortal instruments' the TV show, but even for me I knew getting that opportunity again was a little farfetched. Right now I was sitting in my flat with Tristan next to me, working on a new song. After having broken up with Mathilda I didn't feel like singing "dragons are real you have to believe me" to anyone. It was no secret it was about her, as it was a well-known fact that I had called her my dragon. Tristan and I had been going at it all day, trying to figure out our next single. It wasn't going well.

"Jamie, the chorus and the verse don't mix, it's too different, like spiders and kittens!" Tristan had just finished saying as the doorbell rang. I got up mumbling "who the hell could that be" under my breath while secretly and goofily wishing Skye would be standing on the other side of that door, I still really wanted to talk to her, but she had just been impossible to reach ever since Friday night. The person outside the door was the last person I expected or - for that matter - wanted to see.

Mathilda.

She was standing sheepishly on my doorstep, almost stepping on her own feet. Her dark brown hair was down hanging loosely around her heart shaped face, making her look even younger and all the more innocent. Only half being true. She was young, yes. But innocent? Maybe that's a little farfetched for that bitch. She was wearing a grey trench coat and a pair of slim fitting blue jeans, shaping her slim legs perfectly, her cheeks was still red from the cold winds outside.

Seeing her again felt like somebody had knocked all the air out of my lungs leaving me breathless. I had actually never expected to see her ever again. Ever. What she did was the worst thing a person I loved and cared about could ever do to me. She had cheated. Anger flared in my chest as she raised her head, laying her eyes upon me for the first time for what was over a month. Her blue eyes locked every angry word I had ever wanted or more likely needed to say in my throat. A whole minute must have passed before a word was uttered in the whole flat, because suddenly Tristan shouted from the living room, "What's going on out there? Who is it, Jamie?!" I took a step back and quickly cleared my throat before answering, "It's nothing they were just about to leave." I eyed Mathilda closing the door slowly, but her hand shot out, stopping it.

"Please, J... Listen..." she pleaded.

"Go , Mathilda, you have already said more than enough. leave," I ordered, obviously she didn't listen. She pushed her way through the door and into the flat.

"Jamie, please listen to me!" she exclaimed almost indignantly.

"What do you want, Mathilda?!" I said my voice almost cracking. I didn't know how to feel about her, she had broken my heart. A heart that had just now started to heal. I could feel my wounds breaking open the longer she stayed. Breaking open the love and longing I felt for her. All that I tried to conceal, breaking loose in fragments, making a lump form in my throat.

"I..." she started, then looked to the ground and visibly collected herself taking in a huge gulp of air, "I think I still love you," she blurted out, her words knocked me off my feet. She had cheated on me! She had broken my heart! She was the one who didn't feel anything for me anymore; otherwise she would never have been able to do what she did. But the thought of what could have been held me back from cursing her out the door. The unreal fantasy of what we could have become. Her big stormy blue eyes were staring desperately into mine, hope leaving them as my silence stretched on.