Get Your Guns | Vol. 1 | Jamie Bower Fanfiction

25 | In Love With You

A/N: friendly reminder that this fic is rated mature for a reason.

Jamie

It had been a mistake to kiss her. As soon as my lips crushed to hers she shoved me away, raised her hand and slapped my across the face. The pain vibrated through my cheek, though it wasn't the slap that was hurting, it was the fact that she had turned me way. Not that I hadn't expected it, I had screwed up big time, and I needed to make amends but doing so just seemed impossible. How could I show her that I cared so deeply for her, without having her question every word that came out of my mouth?

"Why do you kiss me like that?!" she exclaimed a hint of tears swelling up in her eyes making me want to hug her for dear life.

"Kiss you like what?" I asked, confused as to what she meant, did I kiss her differently than I had done before? If so I hadn't noticed.

"Like you want me! Like you are not still hung up on Mathilda!" she said, madness gleaming in her eyes.

That's because I do, I do want you," I said, and then made the second most courageous decision that evening. I kissed her again, leaning forward I took hold of her delicate face with one hand and kissed her. I didn't know what to think; much less did I know what she was thinking, what was she supposed to think? She most likely hated me, even I hated me.

At first she struggled, tried to push me away, but not hard enough to make me break from her mouth, like she wasn't sure whether she wanted me to go away, a battle was been fought inside of her. I imagined her heart - a courageous handsome knight - bravely standing up wanting to become the champion of her desires, and then her wits - an old man looking suspiciously similar to my old physics professor - telling her to stop this nonsense and protect herself from the pain 'he' was convinced I was going to inflict upon her.

Once again I took the hint and broke from her lips, wanting her to understand how much I cared and how deeply I needed her to simple not hate me. I didn't think I could bear the weight of a broken heart yet again. Not with the wounds still open from Mathilda's betrayal, and the thought of Skye thinking I was like her, like Mathilda was more than I would be able to bear.

"Forget about Machida. She means nothing to me." I whispered against her lips and then I crushed my lips to hers once more, cradling her face. Then I felt her relax as I kept kissing her, trying for the life of me to show her all that my words could never express.

Suddenly I had a humming sensation against my lips and an easy push on my shoulders. I broke from her again, still cradling her face.

"Jamie, I,-" She began as a single tear suddenly broke from the inner corners of her eye and cascaded down her cheek. To my surprise she didn't try to wipe it away she just stared at me through her long lashes, "Jamie I know, it's not like we were together and I don't really have the right to be mad at you, but I do have the right to be hurt..." she trailed off, I knew she wanted to say more, but being out of words right now wouldn't be uncalled for.

"You don't have to be hurt Skye, it's you I'm kissing right now, isn't it? It was you I chased after, when you saw me with Mathilda. I didn't stay with her trying to explain us" I said this referring to our crazy weeks together so filled with - at least for my part - sexual tension and admiration. She had made my emotions run high for weeks after Mathilda broke up with me, and she still bloody did. She didn't care that I was famous, not in the ways that really mattered or that I was possibly mad, all she had cared about was me. And I prayed to god she still did, "that's because I want to be with you, it is you I care abo-"

"Then why did you kiss her?!" Skye squeaked.

"I, - " I sighed and released her face, staring blindly into my lap fidgeting with my hands, "I don't know. "