☔︎ sam ☔︎
i walked home alone, colby waving me goodbye as i went the opposite way to him. i liked the way he said goodbye and hello to me, it was friendly - a change from kansas. my house was pretty close to the school, which i was glad about. anyway, colby had made me feel something today, and i didn't know what it was. it kind of scared me. i liked him, he was nice. so were his friends, especially reed. he made me laugh, and he reminded me of myself, in an odd way. but what scared me about being friends with colby - or anybody for that matter - was opening up. just the idea of it was daunting and scary, and i really hoped he wouldn't force me to. although, i doubt he would, considering the conversation we had at lunch that afternoon. i only ever opened up to my mom, but even she didn't know entirely about my mental health and stuff like that. i also thought colby was very.. i don't know, good-looking? he was nice to look at. he had electric blue eyes, which somehow seemed to sparkle everytime he smiled, and he was just overall striking. i didn't know what it was, but everytime i looked at him it was like i was stuck in a trance. a trance of.. happiness, maybe?
i wasn't sure, but it felt nice. it felt like i was finally at peace. i shrugged off the thoughts and continued to make my way home, colby still somehow drifting into my mind, though.
☔︎
"i'm back," i said semi-loudly, walking into the house.
"how was school?" my dad asked, and i rolled my eyes. i should've just kept to myself, but now i had to talk to him.
"it was ok," i shrugged, searching through the cupboards to find snacks.
"what do you mean "ok"? what did you do all day? did you make any friends?" he asked with a chuckle, and i smiled at the word friends. colby. colby was my friend. well, i hoped.
"yeah, actually. i made a friend," i smiled, just as i had when colby called me gorgeous. the thought of that made my stomach feel weird, but it felt kind of nice. like i was really happy.
"oh yeah? what's their name?" he asked, and i sat on the sofa in the front room with a sandwich i'd quickly made.
"his name's colby," i giggled, taking a bite out of the food.
"what's he like?" he asked. what was with all the questions?? i had to admit though, that question sent the same feeling shooting through my stomach as the others did.
"he's.. he's amazing. he's funny, a-and he's kind, and he's just, i-i don't know. he's great," i grinned, holding in a giggle as i looked down at the food.
"sounds like you like this colby, eh? first friend you've had in a while," he smiled at me, and i knew he wasn't saying that just to dig at me. he was being genuine, for once. but tomorrow he would be horrible, i was sure of it. i brushed that final thought away, trying to focus on stuff that made me happy.
"yeah, i like him. i like him a lot," i realised quickly that i couldn't stop smiling when i talked about him, and i wondered why that was. anybody else and i'd be able to keep a straight face. i shrugged to myself and headed upstairs with my sandwich, leaving my bag downstairs and planning on talking to my mom about colby. i wanted to just tell her i'd made a friend. i knew she'd be proud - she always was with any progress i made. she was the best mom anybody could ask for, and i stood by that statement. nobody had a better mom than mine, and i was sure of it.
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the fact that people in this fandom are getting cancelled for not liking somebody is so fucking annoying and wrong. there's gonna be people who don't like brennen, or anybody else for that matter. i don't like brennen and i'm not gonna apologise for having an opinion. sorry i don't stan someone who has rape accusations against him and has said the f-slur many times when he's straight. sometimes this fandom is so toxic, i stg.
