Flashpoint Braddock's Daughter

Finally Grieving

Today was the day that I had lost May. It had officially been a year, but it still felt like it was yesterday. Once I woke up I got dressed in a tee-shirt and some jeans, nothing too fancy since I had to go into the station later that day. I put my hair up and threw on some makeup and walked downstairs to find mom and dad sitting at the table eating breakfast. When I walked into to kitchen they both froze and looked at me. At first, they didn't say anything and tried to look like they weren't staring at me as soon as I looked at them. Dad was the one to finally break the silence, "Hey, Dot. How are you feeling?" He asked after taking a drink of his orange juice. I did my best to continue on like nothing happened like today was just another day. "I'm fine," I said as I pulled out a plate for my toast and a cup for my orange juice. 

They both exchanged glances before falling silent again and tried to think of something to say. "Are you sure? Because if you're not-" mom started but I couldn't let her finish. "I said I'm fine. Can we just leave it alone now?" I snapped without meaning too, but after that they just let it go. For about 3 minutes. "Lauren, look you haven't let yourself grieve over losing your friends and it's been a year. You need to take some time for yourself and that's fine," mom said walking over to me and putting her hands on my arms, and forcing me to look at her. "I am grieving. Clark is taking me to the cemetery before I have to go to the station for the workout," I broke away from her grasp and walked back up to my room, just trying to get away from the conversation. 

Finally, Clark showed up at my house and texted me telling me that he was there. I grabbed my bag and walked back downstairs and through the front door ignoring mom and dad as they tried to stop me. I walked to Clark's car sitting in the passenger seat closing the door behind me, I think he could tell I was upset about something but he didn't bother mentioning it. He knew today was going to be rough either way. He drove to the cemetery and parked in front of May's grave before turning the car off. "Do you want to go by yourself first, or do you want me to go with you?" He asked softly and put his hand on mine gently. 

"Give me a few minutes alone with her," I sighed looking back at him. I already had tears running down my face. He gave me a small smile and said, "Alright. Let me know when you want me to come over." He wiped the tears off of my cheeks with his thumbs before I got out of the car and walked over to the grave. I took a deep breath and got on my knees and just stayed there for a little while. Once I was there for a little while, Clark got out of the car and walked over, and sat down next to me. 

I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder as I played with a blade of grass in my hand. "She wouldn't blame you, you know that right?" He spoke softly with his hand around my waist. "I know, but that doesn't make it any easier." Clark sighed and kissed the side of my head and let out a soft, "I know."

Eventually I decided that it was time to say goodbye to May and to go to the station with the rest of Team One. So, I stood up and Clark followed my lead. I said my goodbye, and walked to Clark's car. Once we got to the station he put the car in park and looked over at me. "You know if you talked to Greg or anyone they would probably give you today off right?" 

"I have a job to do. I'll be alright. Thanks for taking me." I looked over at him and gave a small smile. He sighed and nodded, "No problem. Have a good day, be careful." He leaned in for a kiss and I did the same. Once I got out of the car he said, "Love you." 

"Love you too. See you later." And just like that I was in the work headspace and walked into the station and tried to act like it was just another day.