REMNANT : Buffy, the Vampire Slayer meets Batman and the Red Rider

REMNANT: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer meets Batman and the Red Rider - Chapter 7.

Buffy threw open the doors of the library and marched straight at her mentor, as he stepped out of the caged room. She waved the candy bar she was holding in his face. "Giles, we've got a serious emergency."

Giles gasped, clearly shaken as he looked back at the cage. "Good heavens. What is it?" he asked, closing the barred door behind him as he struggled to regain his composure.

Buffy stood before him, taking a breath before she continued. "First – how are you?"

Giles blinked, confused. "I'm – fine. Thank you. But – you said there's an emergency."

"Yes, there is. Just making sure you're okay." She unwrapped her chocolate bar, returning to the problem at hand. "It's my mom."

Giles straightened his spectacles, risking another quick glance at the cage. "Joyce? Is she all right?" he asked, his voice rising with concern. "Was she attacked?"

"No," Buffy said, tearing off a bite of candy. "She's not the victim. She's the problem. And you're the solution."

Giles straightened his glasses on his nose. "Oh?"

"Yeah," Buffy said. "I need you to take her out."

Giles squinted at her, trying to comprehend. "You want me to – assassinate your mother?"

Buffy scrunched her nose at him, "What? No. I want you to take her out. On a date."

Giles' expression remained blank. "I'm sorry. – What?"

"A date," Buffy said. "It's when a guy and a girl like each other so they spend an evening out, maybe with dinner and a movie." She pointed a warning finger at him. "But no kissing on the first night. Or – probably, ever."

Giles sighed, straightening up. "Buffy, I try my best to follow the workings of your brain, but right now I find myself at a total loss."

"I just need you to distract her for a while," Buffy said, turning and chewing anxiously again. "She's completely wigging over my – wigging. She knows I've been semi-detached lately and she's pushing for answers." She turned back, pacing toward him. "She's close to figuring things out. About what I do and what we're up against. I mean, really close." She faced him directly, her chin to her chest. "Giles. She wants to talk."

Giles paled. "Dear Lord, this is serious."

"You doubted me?" Buffy asked, half-offended. She pouted in defense as Giles frowned at her. "See, sometimes when I have an emergency, it's – you know, an actual emergency. So I figured, maybe instead of talking to me, she could talk to you."

Giles blinked, still incapable of following her teen logic. "You would prefer that she interrogate me?"

"Not interrogate. Just talk. With you doing most of the talky-talk. You know. Laugh. Charm. Go all Casanova on her." She frowned. "I mean – not all on her. Just – suave it up a bit."

Giles stepped aside to retrieve the book he had left on the reception desk. He tried to dismiss the conversation. "I'm not exactly skilled at being 'suave,' Buffy."

Buffy smirked. "You were suave with Miss Calendar."

Giles froze.

So did Buffy. "... Sorry," she said. "I wasn't thinking."

Giles could picture the rose petals laid on the steps of his apartment, just a few weeks prior. The petals accompanied a note Jenny had left him, telling him to come find her upstairs.

But all he found was her dead body. He quickly deduced that the romantic note and the flowers had actually been left by her twisted murderer. Angel.

"It's – It's all right," he said. "In any case, I think we should come up with a better plan for distracting your mother."