How To Save A Life (Grey's Anatomy)

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter 35

Season 6, Episode 2-4

It's been a hard month since the funeral and it took me a long time to realize it was all real. Some part of my brain still doesn't understand that he's gone. Every time a door opens I think he's about to walk through, but this is real. He's gone and he's not coming back. It's an impossible pill to swallow but I have to keep doing what he can't anymore. I have to become a great surgeon.

It doesn't help that the red-head continues to dwell in the grief of George, or her knight in shining armour that saved her life. She sits outside of the hospital every day without moving and it's driving me crazy.

Today, Izzie and I sit on a bench not too far away from the girl on my lunch break. She was sent home two weeks ago from the hospital but still has to come back every couple of days for follow-ups which is why she's here now. Looking at her, sitting up so strong and healthy, I'm thankful I didn't lose her too.

"I didn't expect this." She says to me. "They say cancer and stage 4, you expect to die. Then you start thinking, well, maybe I can kick it. Maybe I'll be the miracle."

"You are the miracle, Iz," I say to her with a tilted head. She's looking off into the distance as if something about her existence doesn't make sense.

"I'm still living with cancer." She says, shrugging. "You just don't expect that."

We sit for a couple of minutes, the sun warm on our faces. I'm eating a sandwich I brought outside for my lunch break. I haven't had much time on my hands since I started piling up the work. It's become hard to keep up with everything, which I guess was the point of taking on extra work, to forget about everything else, but I haven't really been there for my brother.

Alex and Izzie moved into Derek's old trailer and have been living there for a couple of weeks now which leaves me living in a house with "newlyweds" if you can even call Meredith and Derek that. I thought about moving out but I can't afford a place without roommates and everyone I know is either married or already has roommates. This leaves me in a very big house with thin walls. God, I want to move out.

"Isn't that the girl that George saved?" Izzie knocks me out of my trance with a question and I look up, nodding with her.

"Yup," I mutter in slight annoyance, taking another bite of my sandwich.

"What is she doing here?" Izzie asks, reflecting the same annoyed tone in my voice.

"She sits there. Every day... all day." I mutter and continue to eat before Izzie stands up suddenly. "Hey, what are you-"

"For god's sake." She mumbles, strutting over to the girl across the courtyard. I pack up my lunch quickly and run after her to make sure she doesn't make a scene. I stay a little way back and hear her yelling at the girl, who stands up from the bench to face Izzie. I can't really make out her words at first until she yells in her face. "Because you lived! You lived and George didn't! Go live a freaking life and if I see you sitting here ever again I will kick your ass from here to Sunday!"

After a moment of hesitation, the girl picks up her purse and walks away without another word. Izzie watches her leave for a beat before turning back to face me, tears threatening to fall from her eyes. I give her a comforting half-smile which she returns before we walk back over to our bench.

∞∞∞∞∞∞

Just like every other day this month, I was a shell of a person. Going about my life but with no real regard for anything. A ghost walking through life. Every time something happened that would make me happy, my first thought was to tell George, but I can't.