Its been a tough week, I am finding it hard to cope I am not going to lie. I was at the hospital yesterday, I was getting womb cleaned because the bleeding was a bit too much. So yeah this was my hardest week I still can't stomach anything I can't eat, I can't sleep nothing makes sense, my poor babies gone just like that. I know life has to move on but its hard, I have to be a mother again to my kids who I have neglected in the past week. We left them at Misokuhles' and Zenalas' house so we can process everything together, and its been hell because both of us are blaming ourselves for what happened. In as much I was the one carrying the babies it still affects the both of us emotionally.
"MaZulu I know you don't like take away but today I am not in the mood to cook and I assume you are also not in the mood to cook, so what can I get?" He asks, he is exhausted. He and Miso have been trying to get in contact with his moms' family, they have moved from were they were living. "All the fast food you can think of, and bring me my favorite snacks. Include ice cream and Chocolates please and buy lots of it." I say. He smiles. "Are we having a party?" He asks. I laugh at him. "Oh because I cant eat all that on my own?" I ask. "I know you are capable of eating everything." He says and laughs I join him. "Include your favorite snacks there." I say. He shakes his head and takes his car keys, he stops at the door. "I still love you." He says and leaves. I love him too.
Let me prepare some popcorns, and select what we can watch together. This week has been draining us emotionally we could use some break and a movie night will do just fine. Some comedy and action movies will do just fine, I am not looking to cry today I just want to laugh. Maybe we can start with the love birds I heard it's a nice movie and it is highly recommended. Get hard is my all time favorite Kevin hart movie well my husband happens to like it.
***
"Mkami I come bearing gifts." He says as he enters the door with a lot of plastics in his hands. I rush to help him out. "Did you buy the whole shop?" I ask. "I might as well have, I didn't know what to take and what to leave." He says. I don't blame him my favorite snacks change every time I go shopping. "So I bought every snack I have you eat." He says making me smile. "Oh thank you Sangweni." I say and I kiss him. "mmhh we seem to be in a better mood than before." He says looking at me suspiciously. I start to pack some of the snacks because I don't feel like them I select the ones I feel like eating. "Yeah I am in a better mood, I want us to have a movie night I have selected my favorite movies you can select yours." I say. He helps me set up he follows me.
"Oh which reminds me, they have sent our wedding video maybe we can start with that. " He says. "That's a great idea." I say. "I forgot the food in the car, can you please help me with it, I was just distracted by your beautiful smile." He says making me blush. I follow him, and he bought food from all the fast foods I could think of. He is too much of a great listener. We bring the food to the house. I feel like having pizza so does he.
He plays our wedding footage. We are now cuddling and watching the video it starts where I was busy making phone calls to make sure everything is in place to my mom taking my phone from me, we laugh at that because of what she said when taking the phone from me. Its great seeing his smile back again. To seeing him preparing his vows, and Miso dancing I think Miso was drunk on our wedding day, the way he was dancing and talking. "Your twin was drunk on our wedding day, look at him." I say laughing. "That one was happy as if it was him getting married and he doesn't want to get married he says since I am the married one it's the same as him getting married because him and I are one person." He says and chuckles.
" Poor Zenala, she has been waiting for the ring." I say. "I tried talking to him because Zenala is a wonderful girl and she loves him and I know Misokuhle loves her as well but he is afraid of marriage because he saw how horrible our parents marriage is." He says. Understandable. "He should move quick because he will lose her because she is determined to get married, and if your brother is too slow he will lose her." I say. "At the end of the day the decision is his, there is nothing I can do about it." He says, and we continue watching the video and the videographer did an amazing job with the edits.
I got to see myself transform from being me to being a Disney princess, to me walking down the aisle, seeing how his eyes brightened up when I was walking down the aisle. "Look at you crying before I even got close to you." I say pulling his leg. "Oh, I wasn't crying, I was sweating because I knew there was no way I was running way now your fathers' stare was too scary." He says. "Mxm we both know you were crying." I say getting fake mad. "I don't cry, I sweat through my eyes." He says, mxm he is stupid. We continue watching the footage till I feel asleep.
Next day
"Sanele, we have a lead. So I am going to KZN are you coming along?" He asks. What type of question is this I miss my boys now, its been a long week. I will take the bags from before I never unpacked anything. So that's a yey for me. "What time are we leaving?" I ask. "As soon as you are ready." He says. I need to shower. I shower first and there is some blood still coming which just reminds me of what I have lost, but I will be fine right. I might never go back to normal, but I have to move on and focus on loving my kids, and husband he is going through a lot finding out the woman he thought was his mother wasn't his mother. Then him having to find his moms' family so that he can fix whatever is wrong, so we can have a peaceful life. I don't think its easy for him to carry the burden that my life is in his hands.
The drive is quiet and he is too silent, I think he is nervous. "Sangweni, I think I should start with contraceptives so we can avoid me falling pregnant again. I am not ready to fall pregnant again especially with what's happening right now we should at least wait a year or so before we can try again." I say. He looks at me then back at the road. "Okay that's a great idea, anything to help with the healing process, and I think we should focus on the twins for now because it seems you and I have the genes that make twins. Imagine if you fall pregnant 2 more times with twins, the chaos that would erupt in our house." He says chuckling like he is seeing the chaos. "I wouldn't handle more little ones like Siko. Your son is too much." I say and he laughs. "Apparently that's exactly how we were with Misokuhle, you see how Siko is its how Misokuhle was." He says. That makes sense the chaotic twin is Misokuhle between them and Luhle is nothing like father his personality may resemble mine.
We finally get to Misos' house and the way my babies ran to me when they saw me was heart warming. Its like they grew up a lot within a week. I didn't realize I had missed them this much. I love my babies and I feel bad for ignoring them in the past week, but it was for the best. I don't think they realized their father wasn't there because they didn't even run to him. They still get confused by their fathers, I don't think they can differentiate as yet. To them its just one person twice.
They were expecting us because they have the table set up. We join them for supper. " Where did you find them?" Fisokuhle asks. "Oh they moved to Manzini Swaziland. A few months after we were born." Miso answers. "oh okay so we are leaving after this." He says and my husband just nods. "When will you be back?" Zee asks. "Day after tomorrow hopefully" Miso answers. I hope they find their moms' family so we can put an end to all this.
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IMPUMELELO
General FictionA young lady falls in love with a young man who loves her dearly. They adore each other and they will do anything to protect each other from anything that may come between them, but what if what comes between them is them, their families both living...
