IMPUMELELO

Chapter 30

Its been 3 months since Fisokuhle cheated, I am having a hard time forgiving him. Its hard to just forget that he was on top of another woman. Its hard to get rid of the image of him on top of another woman, the image of him grunting and thrusting on top of another woman is stuck on my head. I don't know how to move on from this. Fisokuhle assured me it only happened once. He has apologized numerous times but its hard to just forgive that he betrayed me and he broke my trust in him. l always wonder when he goes on business trips that is he having sex with someone. The worst thing in all this is Thabile now lives near us so that Fisokuhle can have access to the baby and that isn't making me feel secure at all.

Right now we are in a line in Pic'n Pay to buy groceries, this weekend there are no kids, no husbands, its just us. They went home to their Dad because there is something they needed to fix and the kids are needed there and us not so much, so we remained in Joburg and I missed Zee so this is a perfect time to catch up. "How is everything going between you and Fisokuhle?" She asks. "If I said we are fine I would be lying because nothing is going well hey, the lady now lives 30minutes from us, and I am not comfortable with that. " I say because to be honest this worries me, maybe I am insecure but the thought of her being close to us irks me. "Mhh are you trying to forgive him? Or even tell him how you feel about the whole thing?" She asks me.

"I haven't because the only time we speak is if we are talking about the kids and or around the kids other than that its utter silence. I have been ignoring him, I still cant face him I keep getting this weird image of him with the girl, I know its been three months and I should move on but its hard." I say. "I know what you mean. Do you still love him?" She asks. "Of course I love him." I say duh its obvious that I love him. "Do you still want your relationship to work?" She asks. "Yes, I don't see us getting a divorce or anything." I reply. "Okay if you mean what you are saying, why don't you sit him down and tell him how you really feel. Don't hold anything back just be honest and tell him how much he hurt you, because if you keep hording your feelings you will end up resenting him and you will most probably be a bitter wife." She says.

She is right, I haven't been honest with him I have been too focused on being angry and showing him that I am angry, and focused on hurting him, truth is it happened now what? I cant be angry forever and I love Fisokuhle we just need to talk about and I need to come clean about how I feel. I need to let go of this anger because its not healthy for me, and its not healthy for the both of us. "You are right." I say and I show her a small smile. "I know I am right." She says then flips her weave. One thing about Nala is she always gives great advice. "Sanele Sangweni, I didn't think I would see you again after you left the hospital." This voice says, Nala and I turn to face the man who is speaking from behind us. Its Dr Nkosi, f*ck this man.

I ignore him I honestly have nothing nice to say to this man. "I am sorry for getting you fired at work, I was just annoyed that your husband almost knocked me out." He says. Why is he still talking when we made it clear that we are not interested in whatever he wants? "Its fine, and again I am sorry for what happened." I say, I don't mean it but I want him out of my sight. "You know what I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, if he isn't treating you well I am here. I will treat you well, I will make you happy." He says, touching my shoulder disgusting mxm. Argh this man is infuriating.

"Sir, can you please leave us alone, cant you see that we are not interested in whatever you have to say." Zenala says she is annoyed. He looks at her then back at me. "We are not done here. " He says then snickers. He leaves the line and he wasn't even carrying anything. "Is this the doctor Misokuhle beat up?" She asks. "Yes." I reply I don't even want to talk about him.

"Something is off about this man. I don't like the way he was looking at you." She says. "Can we please stop talking about him." I plead. She gives me a small smile and says nothing. We are now standing silently in the queue its moving slowly. I am now thinking about this perverted Doctor. I wonder at what length does he stop because his persistency is scary, he seems not to register the word No in his mind, and people like that are scary. My gut telling me something is off about this guy, he rubs me up the wrong way. He made my life a living hell at work, argh let me stop thinking about him. Just then my phone rings, its Fisokuhle.